Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Nikmat

Salam :)

It's been a while. Lama diam. Sebab tak cukup masa, sebab rasa takde benda faedah nak bercakap selain mengeluh. 

October and November adalah bulan menduga segala benda. Diuji oleh Allah dari setiap sudut. Mula-mula rasa macam Ya Allah, sesaknya duit. Ya Allah, ape lagi ni? Astaghfirullahala'zim. Lama-lama muhasabah, kenapa lepas satu, satu ni Allah duga. Mula-mula bumbung extension dekat laundry area bocor, sekarang kan musim hujan. Banjir dapur setiap kali hujan. Hubs lah yang gigih cedok buang air. Sejam hujan lebat, sejamlah hubs dok mencedok. 

Kemudian, masa tengah sedap vacuum rumah tertarik curtain sliding door kuat, habis jatuh rail segala. Habuk berdebu satu rumah, nasib baik tak kena Maryam. 

Lampu master bedroom tiba-tiba rosak. Budget sangat tight bulan October, jadi beharap lampu toilet je nak menerangi bilik sementara tunggu gaji November nak replace mentol. Budget sangat tight sampai nak beli mentol RM18 pun berkira. 

Dituruti laptop zaman belajar dulu-dulu tetiba rosak. Hanged. Takleh nak gerak cursor langsung. Tak boleh buat apa. Padahal hubs dengan I nak kena kejar dateline submit assignment. This is my first assignment after Degree time, so sangat lemau nak start. We have to use sister-in-law's laptop for a while. Paham-paham ajelah, laptop sekarang canggih, nak biasakan dengan laptop pun hegeh-hegeh. Dah dapat laptop pinjam, tetiba Unifi tak dapat guna, so tak ber-internet lah selama 2,3 hari. Nak buat assignment, nak research macam mana? Solution was staying at Parent-in-law's place sampai lewat malam baru balik rumah. Penat tak payah cakap. Panggil technician, rupanya modem rosak. Terbaik, cukup time habis warranty, dan-dan terus rosak. There it goes, our RM120 to replace with the new modem. 

Then, washing machine problem, takleh detect air. Air tak keluar, so kena operate mashine manually. Setiap kali nak wash and rinse kena lah tunggu sampai air penuh. Nak hantar dobi, duit tengah kering. Gigih la laki bini dok tunggu kat washing machine setiap kali nak basuh. 

Life sangat miserable time tu. Masing-masing tak terluah. Kadang-kadang nampak hubs termenung, dah dapat agak apa yang dia fikir. Serabut fikir banyaknya duit nak pakai. 

Sungguh. Dah lama tak rasa susah macam tuh. Masa tu baru terfikir, kat mana salah aku? Kat mana salah kami suami isteri? 

Secara tak sengaja I terjumpa apps Podcasts dan dalam tu banyak lectures Mufti Menk. 



Mula-mula dengar lectures Productive Muslim, bila sampai part 'Allah has granted you so many things in life, what's your excuse for delaying his call?' . I termalu sendiri. Sebab I jenis yang kalau kat ofis buat pakej solat zuhur dengan asar. Maksudnya, solat zuhur hujung waktu, solat asar awal waktu. Sempat baring seminit dua kat surau sementara waktu. I teringat dulu-dulu masa berdoa siang malam nak conceived, pastu asked around what are the tips, what specific du'a should I pray? Then, someone said harshly, 'solat pun delay, lambat-lambat kan solat macam benda lain tu lagi penting then tak malu doa kat Allah nak cepat pregnant?'. I was shocked but like the wise man said truth hurts. Big time. 

Jadi, nikmat mana lagi yang kau mahu dustakan? 

Reflect. Banyak yang kurang. Bak kata Mufti Menk, jaga solat. InshaAllah, everything will come into pieces. Solat tu kan tiang agama. Jaga solat bukan make sure cukup 5 waktu, tapi cukup awal untuk ready before masuk waktu. Productive Muslim ready 5minutes earlier sebelum solat. A good leader is someone who never delay his prayers. 

Download this apps, IMAN. It's very helpful. So kita tau bila waktu solat, doa-doa, siap ada zikir counter lagik. 



InshaAllah moga kita sama-sama usaha untuk jadi lebih baik. Lesson learnt, in a hard way though. InshaAllah, harapnya penyakit hati, dalam an dan peribadi pun turut sama berubah menjadi lebih baik.


Berdoa supaya hati ini isthiqamah, supaya dipermudahkan segalanya. InshaAllah. Aminn. 


Sunday, October 6, 2013

Tell me how...

Salam

24hours a day doesnt seems enough for me. 

I shorten my night sleep. I stop taking day nap. 

And yet I still find it hard to manage the time. 

During the weekends, I cannot finish the house chores. Day time, I entertained my baby. She started to climb almost everything. So, she needs my full attention. Basically, I did the house chores at night. 

How should I utilise my time? 

Care to share how you girls managed your time at home?

Thank you.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Hiatus

Salam :)

Lamanya tak update blog. Lots to share, it just that I have crush on Instagram right now. Haha. Tulis blog macam komitmen, bila start je terus merepek panjang berjela. Tapi nak start tu rasa cam alahai lemah je. Haha. After all, blog memang tempat nak go down to memory lane, tempat nak buat kenangan dan tempat nak share good things with people.

How's my life has been so far?
GREAT. siap capslock lagik. yeah, ada drama sana sini, but I wouldn't ask for more. Counting HIS blessing, and I am one lucky girl. Alhamdulillah.

#1 Maryam Nur Zahra'
She is such an adorable little girl. Growing up so fast. She is one of the best thing that happened in my life. Even until now, it's so surreal. Now dah mengengsot sana sini. I was mistaken cakap kat orang yang Maryam dah merangkak. Padahal mengengsot hoii. Merangkak bila begerak angkat bontot.

She start on solid food on the day she turn 6-months. Yeah, I am that skema. I am that type of mother who follows what the book say. Alhamdulillah, she loves to eat almost everything that introduced to her. She ate a lot. I am a happy Ummi. Seronok hoii tengok anak makan. I masih larat dan rajin prepared puree for her. Harapnya kekal rajin sampai ke sudah lah. 


#2 Holiday
We've been planning for a holiday. To a place that can relax our mind. Not a busy hustle bustle place. Not a shopping centre attraction. An island specifically, even I cannot snorkelling much with Maryam around. Problem now is hard to find a week that both of us are free. For me, Cameron Highland pun will do, cuma nak jugak pergi pulau kan? This year, I tak pergi bercuti ke mana pun. Pergi Langkawi je, tu pun more to shopping instead of betul-betul bercuti rehat minda. 


#3 Study
Alhamdulillah, I finally cekal hati nak continue study. Part time basis, more to online instead of classes. Sebab sayang masa weekend nak tinggal Maryam. So I guess online was a better choice until I find it hard to squeeze some time in a day, to look at the slides. Not digesting yet what the course is all about. I am not that ambitious macam certain student yang amek 4 subjects this sem. I only took 2 subjects. Tu pun rasa tak terbawak. The final exam would be around December. Cuak. Pray that I have the courage to strive for what I dream of. Yep, nak belajar dan belajar selagi hayat di kandung badan. 

If you asked me now, I have few list to fulfill:
(a) Enrol in swimming class
(b) Learn how to bake
(c) Master the Arabic language
(d) Learn how to sew
(e) Start a small business

My problem is, finding the time. I know, I didn't fully utilise my time. Still boleh curi sana sini. But for now, I think my baby needs me more. Macam ada forum agama after friday work, I choose to go back home playing with my baby girl. Even if I attend the forum agama, my baby pun dapat pahala for it. I just dont think so. I don't know on the agama perspective much (shame on me), but I rather go back home seeing my baby. Yesterday, I attended an hour ceramah from Ustaz Haslin or Ustaz bollywood people called him, during lunch time. Then, I realized yang I need that for my inner strength, for my spiritual. Dah lama I tak attend majlis ilmu, so rasa diri far away from Dear Lord. I just feel something missing. That one pieces yang missing tulah, yang bagi impact besar for myself. Muhasabah.


#Friends
Thanks Allah for sending me great friends. The old friends and the new friends. Bila berkawen ada anak, I found myself jarang take the effort nak keep in touch with friends. Makin zaman lagi canggih senang nak connect, makin I malas nak utilised all those technology. But sometimes, when they took the effort to say hi, or even gossips, I am touched. I kinda missed those moments we used to spend time together. Again, my lame excuse is, it is hard to find time. Kalau berwhatsapp pn, I susah nak commit. Susah nak reply time-time tu jugak.

I am glad I met those beautiful ladies. You know who you are. Start with comments kat blog dorang. Tukar fon number, create whatsapp group and start meeting each other. Hari raya is a great time. Bulan August boleh cakap jumpa every week. Haha. Penuh event, cuma I je tak sempat nak host event panggil dorang datang rumah. Nanti-nantilah weh. Tak ready lagik nak jadi host. Haha. And yes, bila dah close ne and Hazz is leaving us, memang terasa sedihnya. Hope our friendship will last forever, harap nya nanti-nanti takde gado-gado. Tak badmouth each other. Kawan atas dasar berkongsi dan nak tengok semua orang bahagia, Inshaallah hubungan kita semua dalam peliharaan Allah. Amin



I guess that is all for now. Tiba-tiba hilang momentum nak becerita. Haha. 
Take care you ols. Till then. Tata.






Saturday, August 3, 2013

Kiehl's : Deodorant Cream

Salam :)

I just have to share this. 


This is my first product from Kiehl's. And I must say it is the best deodorant ever. 

I jenis yang kuat bepeluh kat ketiak, tapak tangan dan tapak kaki. So, dah try most of the dedorant in the market. Dari stick, roll-on, spray semua macam tak selesa. Spray la bole tahan sikit. Tapi bila berpeluh (even dalam aircond), I tak comfortable. Few times pergi toilet cek takut berbau. Pernah sampai terfikir nak pakai pad yang letak bawah ketiak tu, tapi sesungguhnya mesti sangat tak selesa.

Lots of people been raving about this deodorant. But I don't have the urge to try, because I never tried anything from Kiehl's range. None of my friend either. Secondly, it is cream based. Logically, cream and sweat?? I think the cream based will make it worst. Thirdly, of course the price. RM45 for deodorant?? You must be kidding me. 

It happened unexpectedly while waiting for husband at KLCC. I bought over by the sales person's explanation and decided to give it a try.

Surprisingly, this deodorant absorbent is very high. No sticky deodorant left. After a minute, it will dry. Plus point, it is odor-less. Not like Rexona that have flora/ refreshing odor. Even it is expensive for small tube, but it worthy. I just have to use it a little only, like a very small dot on my finger. I've been using it for 3-months now and there's still more. The Rexona spray can only last 3-months. I must say, it is a good bargain.

The negative side: I was expecting no more sweat underarm but too bad. The sweat still there, but not like the old days. I don't have to worry and to check in the toilet like every half an hour now. I am fully satisfied with this deodorant. 

Even though I always get things like, '45 bucks for deodorant?? Bullshitt?', but I just don't care. Happy me!!! Hahaha.





 

 

Sunday, July 21, 2013

The Other Half

Salam :)

Ingat tak lagi I cite pasal bestfriend I yang husband dia kena cancer stage 4???

Too bad, her husband already left her on Saturday morning at 4am. :(

I taktau macam mana nak start cerita. I cant hold my tears. :( Masa bangun sahur pagi Sabtu tu, I tengok ada missed call from my friend at 4.26am. I dapat rasa benda tak best. I bekira-kira banyak kali before returned her call. Bila I rasa I kuat sikit, then I call dan dengar dia menangis slow. Dia just cakap, 'A dah takde'. I sampai menggeletar. I hanya mampu cakap, 'sabar.be strong.Allah loves him.'

Ya Allah, I bukan siapa-siapa dengan A. I anggap dia abang I, sebab I bestfriend dengan wife dia. Tapi kesan dari berita kematian dia, buat I tak mampu nak tanggung. Apatah lagik kawan I, L. She lost the other half of him. 

The last time I visited A was last 2weeks. Ralat. I ingat nak pergi weekend tu sebab nak belikan tilam lipat untuk L. Niat dihati nak masak bawak makanan kat L jugak. Bayangkan sebulan dia dok hospital tak balik, baju pun anta dobi ja cuci. Tido atas kerusi sandar ja. Tapi bila I tau kawan I yang laen tolong belikan tilam untuk dia dah, I cakap next time la I pergi. :(

L updated me about A everyday. Her husband start sakit teruk since last 2-months. L pun dah lama amek unpaid leave. Before jerebu start kat KL ne, A dah start susah bernafas. Masa tu L mintak tolong ktorang cari oxygen tank, tapi mahal. And ada one day tu A sesak nafas, terus bawak pergi hospital. Since then A masuk hospital. Mula-mula dekat ICU. Sedih tengok A. Tak larat pun nak bukak mata. Bila dia batuk lagik la, ditahan-tahannya sebab setiap kali batuk sakit sangat. I kalau pergi visit tak lama sangat, sebab tak sanggup tengok. 

Bila dah buat blood transfusion, he's getting better. So dipindahkan masuk ward biasa. Lega. Tapi lama-lama makin teruk. Susah nak bernafas, susah nak telan makanan. They decided buat radiotherapy bila A dah takleh gerak kaki dan tangan. The cancer cell dah block blood vein kat kaki dan tangan. L is one strong wife. Dia setiap 5minit akan ubah kedudukan kaki dan tangan husband dia. Sebab A lenguh tapi A nak cakap pun susah. L jaga A sakit tu lama, almost a year, tapi sekali pun tak merungut dan jarang nanges dan sedih depan A. Kalau ktorang pergi visit, L akan buat lawak gila-gila dan ktorang akan layan je, sebab nak bagi dia hilang stress. L susah tido malam, sebab dia takut kalau A nak ape-ape dia tertido. 

Pernah L cite, masa A kat rumah, dia pakaikan A pampers sebab kalau nak buang air besar susah nak gerak. L tak larat nak pimpin A ke toilet. Sekali tu A bangun, tiba-tiba pampers terjatuh, both of them memang gelak gila-gila. Lepas habes gelak tu, dua-dua menanges. Ya Allah, nasib baek masa dia cite tu on the phone. I ne dah mengalir air mata tak henti. 

Masa A buat radiotherapy, L akan menanges semahunya. Sebab time tu aje la dia dapat menanges puas-puas. Depan A, L takkan menanges. 

Last 3weeks,  bila L panggil ustaz-ustaz datang berubat A, semua ustaz tu cakap dah terlambat. Berdoa dan redha aje lah. L told me, she asked why people gave up so easily on A's condition? Hancur hati dia bila orang cakap macam tu. All i can said, 'all people in the world can give up easily on A, but not you and A. If L give up, A give up memang dah takde harapan.' Seriously, i lost words. 

A week after ustaz-ustaz tu cakap macam tu, L called me and cried her heart out. I biar dia menanges dalam 20minutes, then dia cakap doctor baru bitau dia, the cancer cell has spread all over A's body. Dah sampai brain pun. Doctor predicted A boleh bertahan few more weeks aje. I nanges sama-sama dengan dia. I hanya mampu cakap, 'doctor bukan tuhan.doctor just cakap based on the medical report. Miracle can happenned.' I ulang ayat tu je kat dia. 

Bila L cakap, 'Allah sayang sangat kan kat ktorang???' I dah menanges menjejes-jejes dekat ofis. Ya Allah, positifnya dorang. Ya Allah. Ya Allah.

L told me, A susah nak makan. A makan cerelac je sekarang. Tapi L sempat buat lawak cakap Maryam pun tak makan cerelac lagik kan? :(

A dah susah nak bernafas. He depends on morphine and oxygen. Day by day, morphine and oxygen makin increased. Until the doctor said last tuesday, they cant do much. The cancer cell is getting aggressive. And doctor said, he can last for few days, up to few weeks. Just pray. Hancur hati dengar doctor cakap macam tu. Jahatnya cancer ne Ya Allah. A dah makin susah nak bercakap, sampai dorang becakap buat sign language. 

Friday morning, I texted L asking about A's condition. A was getting worst. 

Until I received the new that A passed away. Ya Allah. I cant be there for L to go through this. I terus call another friend yang rapat dengan L, call berkali-kali sampai I have to call her husband. I nak kawan I teman L. Ya Allah. 

Jenazah di uruskan di Subang dan dibawa balik ke JB untuk dikebumikan. The other friend, teman L sampai ke JB. Thanks darling. 

L told the last night tu, A pandang je dia. Tapi tak cakap ape-ape. Dia buat ape pun, A pandang je dia. L tanya A, 'sayang nak ape-ape ke?'. A diam aje. That night was the first time L rasa redha to let him go. L tak sanggup tengok A sakit. Sakit sangat sampai A menanges cakap sakit. And usually L cant sleep at night tapi malam tu L boleh pulak tertido.
L terkilan. L cakap Allah kejutkan dia masa A dah takde je. Dia terjaga at 4am tengok L dah tak bergerak. Mudahnya A pergi, dalam bulan ramadhan yang mulia lagik. So I guess Allah taknak L tengok saat-saat A pergi. 

I dont know how Im going to face this if I am at her shoes. She has nobody. She only has her husband. She rely so much on her husband. Bila dikenangkan nak balik rumah balik dan she's all alone. Menanges I. She said to me this morning, Allah have plan something better for me. Ya Allah, kuatnya dia. 

Selama ne, bila diuji macam-macam (miscarriage 3times), she still has her husband to turn to. Now, she has nobody. Even we kept telling her, she still have us, I know it will never be the same. 

Dengan nak raya nye ne, macam mana lah agaknya. L will be coming to work after Raya, dia nak belajar amek lesen kete semua dan nak setelkan semua benda dulu. I kalau boleh nak dia datang ofis, so dia tak sorang-sorang time macam ne. Tapi since dia cakap nak balik rumah kakak ipar dia, so lega sikit hati I. Bila ditanya raya mana? Dia cakap dekat JB. Raya je dengan everyone yang left with her. :(


I tengok status FB L, dia tulis, 'untuk sayangku, kita berjumpa di Jannah nanti'. Ya Allah. Sebak. Sedih. I dont know what to say to her. Seriously, I lost words. 

A, semoga tenang di sana. Tunggu L di Jannah ye. 

Al-fatihah. 




Thursday, July 11, 2013

Dapur Berasap : Rendang Ayam

Salam :)

Selamat berpuasa u olsss.

Rabu I cuti, sempat la I buat Rendang Ayam. Tapi memang mencabar sikit this time, Maryam clingy gila sekarang ne. Sekejap je tinggal tak nampak muka, mula la menanges. 

So, what I do is berbabywearing while cooking. Kalau tak, memang takkan siap masak. Cuma bila I dah start menumis bagai, I letak dia kat bawah kejap. Mak I pesan biar dia nanges kat bawah dari menanges terpercik minyak. 

Resipi I simple ja. Cuma rendang ne kena biar lama baru kick. Gittew. I memang lepas dah masuk semua, bukak api slow aje tinggal gi mandikan Maryam dan sempat lah basuh periuk belanga bagai. 

BAHAN-BAHAN
(1) cili kering - 15biji (ikot pedas masing-masing la, direbus & dibuang biji)
(2) onion - 1biji
(3) garlic - 2biji
(4) serai - 4batang
(5) halia - sebesar ibujari
(6) lengkuas - sebesar ibu jari
(7) jintan manis - 1/2 sudu kecik
(8) santan - RM2
(9) kerisik - 3-4sudu besar
(10) kulit kayu manis - 1
(11) ayam - 1/2 ekor (i rebus buang lemak dulu)

*blend bahan (1) - (7)

CARA-CARA
1) Tumis bahan blend tadi
2) Masukkan kerisik, santan, kulit kayu manis & ayam
3) Kacau supaya santan tak berketul
4) Biarkan api slow sampai rendang kering. From time to time, kena kacau gak rendang tu.
5) Siap


Yang I buat ne telebih minyak, lepas amek gambar baru ingat nak buang minyak. Haha. Rupa memang tak semenggah la, tapi separuh ekor tu boleh  habes makan time berbuka dan sahur. I tak gemar sangat ayam ne, so hubs la yang makan banyak. Memang favourite dia pun. 

Hari ne dah taktau nak masak apa oiii?? Heee

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Birthday

Salam :)

Alkisahnya, birthday hubs adalah pada 13 jun yang lalu. Dah masuk July baru nak update kan? Hoho

I ne jenis tak pandai nak celebrate plan bagai ne. I tak pandai suprise kan orang, sebab I pun tak suka suprise-suprise gini. Senang cite, I planned nak keluar KL, pergi weekend getaway ke mana-mana. Tapi entah mengapa la semua tempat full. Dari Cameron, PD dan Cherating. 

So I was thinking why not check in mana-mana hotel kat KL ne ja. Double Tree was my first choice. Tapi last minute booking, harga pun melonjak. Gila kau semalam 700++. Baek I beli handbag kalau dah mahal giteww. A friend of mine suggested Marriot Putrajaya, tu pun bilik full. I memang tak paham kenapa semua orang nak bercuti weekend tu??? Last-last I decided, to have lunch buffet aje kat hotel. 

Dan memang ada hikmah I tak jadi weekend getaway sebab my parents datang KL. 

I gave options for hubs to decide to dine in either at Mandarin Oriental, ShangRi La or Double Tree. Ne based on my survey and friend's suggestion. Hubs chose Double Tree just because among those three, Double Tree paling murah. 

I amek halfday semata-mata nak spend time dengan hubs. Hubs tak cuti pun, sebab dia boleh lunch lama-lama.

Birthday Boy

Starter


Dessert

Middle East Cuisine

Tomyam & Sup

Local Cuisine

<3

<3 <3
The food are nyummy. Kena selera tekak I la. Cuma lauk pauk tak banyak sangat. Tapi boleh la kan? Dessert pun biasa-biasa aja. Nothing extravagant sangat pun. As long as birthday boy kenyang and happy pun dah cukup. Hubs I ne memang jenis tak cerewet bab makan, apa-apa pun telan je. Try je. Tak pernah la dengar dia cakap tak sedap or tak makan. I ne jenis cerewet ya rabbi. Banyak benda I tak makan, pastu mulut pun kalau dah try something tak best akan keluar tak sedap la. Haha. Everytime tu la hubs akan cakap, kalau pergi Mekah nanti (InshaAllah, moga murah rezeki nak sampai sana) mulut tu jangan cakap macam-macam. When my hubs went to perform Umrah last time, ada one guy same group dengan dia masa first makan kat Mekah mulut dia cakap tak sedap, sampai ke sudah sepanjang kat sana semua benda dia makan rasa tak sedap. Hubs selalu ulang cite tu kalau mulut I laju je cakap tak sedap. Haha. I try la nak kawal mulut ne, tapi muka kadang-kadang tak dapat menipu. Okay okay, I am far away to be a better person. Kena cuba jugak. Hee

Btw, hadiah takde. Sebab he cant decided what he want. Haha. Dia nak Oakley Holbrook sebenarnya, tapi I tak mampu hokayh. Nanti I tolong topup aje la. Gagagaga. Men's stuff is soo expensive. Hubs punya taste kadang-kadang I tak mampu nak capai. Gittew. 

Happy Birthday dearest husband. Maryam tuh kira hadiah for this birthday lah ye. Last year, masa birthday hubs I baru tau I pregnant, tu pun kira hadiah birthday. Aci tak??  Hahaha

May you have so many reasons to be happy, especially when Maryam and I are around right?? Haaa :) 













Saturday, June 22, 2013

Jerebu

Salam :)

Ya Allah. Jerebu sudah datang KL. Masa jerebu masih sikit-sikit last week pun I dah start sakit tekak dan Maryam batuk-batuk time tido, sekarang lagiklah. I bukak tingkap sikit aje. Risau hoii bangun pagi kat luar berasap. Bila kuar sidai kain, boleh bau macam terbakar. I taktau IPU reading kat KL hari ne berapa, tapi I dan hubs dah sakit tekak tahap kena selalu minum air je ne. 

I've been browsing on the precaution action. Dah ada anak, bukan boleh amek remeh-temeh lagik. 

(1) Pakai mask. Ada certain grade mask yang khas untuk jerebu. N95, memang khas untuk halang partikel-partikel halus masuk ke hidung dan mulut dan menghalang bad air sampai ke paru-paru. Jangan tutup dengan kain sebab kain akan absorb lagi bad air tu, so takde effect pun.

(2) Setiap kali dari luar nak masuk rumah, make sure basuh tangan dan muka. Tapi I dari dulu lagik, balik dari keje basuh tangan muka mandi salin baju baru pergi dukung cium Maryam.

(3) Nak elak baby batuk time tido, sebelum tido letak air panas dalam mangkuk. Biarkan dalam 15-30minit, biar wap air absorb bad air. Kalau rumah ada air purifier, memang takde hal lah.

(4) Keep on breastfeeding your baby. Macam kes bagi fm I tak sure, rasanya only apply to bm aje kot. 

(5) Bagi baby banyak menom air masak dan fruits yang ada vitamin C. Macam Maryam still 100% milk, so I guess this one doesnt apply as well.

(6) Avoid smokers. Tak jerebu pun kena elak jugak kan? 

(7) Kalau baby ada eczema, bronchitis dan athsma lagik kena extra hygiene, extra precautions. 

(8) Kalau baby ada iritasi mata (mata merah-merah dan pedih), boleh titikkan air larutan garam (boleh cari kat farmasi). Ataupun 2-3 titik bm pun will help. 

(9) Stay indoor. Yang ne common sense kot. 


Key point adalah kebersihan, kebersihan dan kebersihan. Yang tu paling penting. Yang mak bapak, silalah minum banyak plain water. Nanti sakit tekak batuk, takut bejangkit dengan anak pulak. 

Stay hydrate and healthy. :)

Friday, June 21, 2013

Random Updates

Salam :)

I am still adjusting new life with baby and work. Not that I stress kat office bagai, it just that I penat travel pagi-malam hantar Maryam to MIL's place. 

# Maryam Nur Zahra'
My darling sweetheart is progressing very well. She's such a bubbly little girl. Suka bercakap sorang-sorang. Membebel je. Hubs said, that one inherited from me. Gagagaga.

# Further study
After considering for so long, I finally decided to further my study. I thought after having a baby, I am fully occupied and will not think much of pursuing study. But lately, rasa nak belajar makin membuak-buak. Rasa macam hunger je, i need to learn more and more. Macam tak boleh kot nak statik sampai kat sini je. I need to be in the study environment. Rasa tak puas kalau I stop sampai degree aje. Sekarang in the midst of applying, bergelut dengan document sana sini, nak certified copy bagai. Agak leceh dan buat I rasa macam malas lahai, tapi kena paksa jugak. Harap-harap berjaya la. 

# Budget
Obviously I kena cut down shopping sana sini, nak tampung duet belajar. I didn't plan to take company's study loan, nanti bonding pulak. Susah nak cari keje tempat laen. So, mungkin apply MyBrain  nye scholarship and withdraw EPF. Tapi sementara tu duet sendiri la. Banyak nak kena tolak sana sini. Biar susah dulu sekarang.

# Vacation
We planned to go to Cameron Highland this week. Unfortunately semua hotel full. Tinggal hotel cikai-cikai yang macam tak convenient kalau bawak baby kecik. So, since we both really need a short getaway, I siap cari ke PD dan Cherating. Tapi I taktau pehal sume tempat full. Padahal cuti sekolah dah habes. So, duduk la kitorang kat KL ne this week. 

# Hati sendiri
Sejak ada anak memang banyak makan hati. Makan hati dengan orang sekeliling. You know, when we tried our best for our little baby but somehow others doesnt seem care enough. Take things for granted. I ne gigih sterilize botol bagai, setiap kali nak pegang Maryam I basuh tangan. Batuk, bersin ke ape I pergi jauh-jauh. Kalau tak sihat, I tahan je diri dari cium Maryam. Orang lain??? Memang semua amek mudah. Sabar je lah. 


Hmmmmm... Happy weekend girls

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

#1st week of June

Salam :)

Weekend lepas adalah sangat hectic.

FRIDAY

Night
We straight away gerak ke Melaka after Isya'. Jalan jammed gila sementara nak sampai Tol Sg Besi. Singgah makan Ikan Bakar, Ikan sweet sour, udang bakar, sotong tepung di Alai. 

Pukul 1am reached hub's kampung at Pokok Mangga. Maryam tido sebaek masuk kereta dan bila we ols angkut car seat dia  sekali kat Alai pun, dia tido tak sedarkan diri until the next morning.


SATURDAY

Morning
Bangun awal sebab Maryam bangun awal. Tak kasi can Ummi sleep in lansung. Hubs keluar beli breakfast. Bestnya dah ada anak, sebab semua prefer kita jaga anak dari nyebok kat dapur or tolong sapu sampah. Tapi sebelum ne takde anak pun I tak buat ape sangat. Buat-buat nyemak kat dapur je pun or tolong siram pokok. Haha

Noon
Bersiap-siap. Tokma kasik gelang tangan emas dekat Maryam. As expected. Sebab Tokma memang peminat barang emas kuning tegar. Selalu la dia tanya I tak rasa ape-ape ke pakai gelang tangan emas putih. Setiap kali balik Melaka, setiap kali tu ditanya. Haha. 



Singgah makan coconut shake & air tebu kat Klebang jap. Harusssss lepaskan craving. 

Off we went to JPO. Orang asyik bercerita, tapi we ols tak pernah sampai jadi haruslah pergi. 



Sampai pukul 3pm. Orang tak ramai sangat. Tak semua outlet we ols masuk. Pilih yang berkenan je. Tapi sungguh la, nothing attract us. Tak berminat. Rasa sia-sia datang. Tak murah mana pun, yang murah semua old design/collection. Baju baby banyak takde size. Kalau ada size pun dilonggok camtuh je, malas nak korek cari. Levis murah, tapi takde size untuk peha dan bontot menarik macam I ne. Haha. Tried one jeans, muat tapi lower cut. Kalau kurus, sesuaiii. Haha. 

Having late lunch at Absolutely Thai. It was the highlight of JPO trip. Haha. Great food. Tomyam terbaek. If not because Maryam merengek mintak didukung, memang I dah hirup-hirup kuah tomyam tu sampai licin.




Masuk butik Coach last sekali, sebab malas nak kena beratur. If not because my SIL kirim handbag and wristlet, memang jangan harap I nak beratur. I must say it's a good bargain. All items are 40% off + additional 20% (for handbag only). It's a steal. Berkenan weekender tote Coach latest design. After 40% off dalam RM510. Hubs tanya beg tu nak isi ape? I cakap buat letak baju Maryam bila travel. Sorry sayang, terpaksa jual nama awak. Haha. Hubs tanya mesti Coach ke? Beg biasa sedia ada tak boleh? Tak sempat nak menjawab hubs cakap lagik, baek guna duet tu buat topup beli jam Seiko (fyi, i nak jam seiko tapi budget tak cukup :| ), kalau tak beli jam g-shock baby aje. G-shock baby seriously?? Haha. Tettt. Hubs terus tolak stroller Maryam keluar. Pftttttt. 

4jam kat sana, we ols hanya beli coklat aje. Hahah. Dalam kete tak habes-habes I merungut sia-sia datang tapi tak beli ape. Sobs :(

Terus bertolak balik pukul 7pm.


Night
Singgah umah PakLong kat Melaka. Tak sempat singgah sebelum ke JPO sebab PakLong ada 5 kenduri nak kena attend. Sampai pukul 9.30pm, lap-lap badan Maryam, we ols pun mandi sekali. Makan-makan, 11 lebih dah gerak balik KL. Halfway before masuk tol Ayer Keroh, hubs cakap dia ngantok gila. Dah tak larat drive. Suprisingly I segar bugar. I take turn drive, tapi memang lahai drive kat highway malam tetap akan ngantok. I bawak sampai Serdang je, tupun mata dah terkelip-kelip. Rest for a while, hubs then sambung bawak kete balik. Arrived at 1.30am. Sampai umah terbongkang 3 beranak. 


SUNDAY

Morning
Macam biasa Maryam tak kasi can Ummi Ayah dia sleep in. Bangun awal. Kemas dapur ape yang patut, laundry sikit.

Noon
Hubs ajak lunch kat luar. I nak makan nasi padang, off we went to Kg. Baru. Then, hubs ajak pergi Pavilion dengan alasan lama tak pergi. I pakai selekeh gila, tapi hubs cakap malas nak balik rumah salin baju. Jadi ke Pavi lah I dengan selekeh sekali. Whatsapp-ed Lisa, sebab ingat nak ke Setia City Mall lepas tu, tapi Lisa cakap kat Setia Alam terus tak jadi. I ajak ke H&M Lot 10 sebab I tak pernah ke H&M kn? Haha. Panas lahai, dok usung Maryam dalam stroller. H&M was super packed. Takde hati I nak menengok, terus masuk Fahrenheit jap then ke Pavi balik. 

Berjaya paw hubs kasut. Haha. New addition to the Geox's collection. I jarang beli kasut, setahun 2,3x je. So, I think it worth spending a little bit much on shoes/sandals/wedges. I never fall in love  to other shoes since I had my first Geox. I only bought during the sales btw. 



Round cari jam. Tak banyak design Seiko for women. Yang ada pun ribu-riban, aku tak mampu. End up tak beli ape sebab tak berkenan. I minat Toywatch jugak since Seiko tak mampu, tapi hubs cakap kaler dia neon sangat and i will end up looking like boyan. Pftttt. Fine. 

Had tea at Coffee Bean. I had pure double choc btw. With tuna pie. Sedap. Ke i yang lapar??? Gagagaga. 



Masuk kedai stroller jap, ape ntah nama sebelah Gap Kids tu. Jaw dropped tengok SA demo the new Quinny stroller, yang sekali lipat je jadi flat. I said, masuk myvi okayh ne. Akan ada banyak space lagik dalam bonet. So, we dont have to buy new car. (Hubs asyik cakap nak tukar kete btw) Haha. Hubs cakap that were the words he heard when i wanted to buy new stroller. Not good, not good. He knows me too well. 

Night
Sampai rumah letih ya rabbi. After Maghrib Maryam tak tido lagik. Pelik. Dan dia sangat cranky. Rasa badan dan kepala Maryam panas. Amek thermometer, temperature was 36.9. Even not too high, but still panick attacked. Whatsapp-ed semua orang yang terlintas, ape I patut buat?? Lisa, Miza, Dieya, Siti, Az dan ramai lagik. Even my friend kat Aussie. I just don't care, as long as I get the solutions asap. Haha. Sebab nak tunggu sesaat orang reply pun rasa lama. I taknak tanya mak I, nanti mak I over risau, call I kerap kali lagik I panik kan? Kalau call tanya mil pun sama, nanti dia terus datang rumah pulak. 

Atas nasihat, I lap whole body Maryam dengan air asam jawa. Panas kat badan hilang, tapi kat kepala masih panas. We decided to go to clinic. While I bersiap barang Maryam nak bawak, Maryam tetido atas dukungan Hubs. Jadi, tak jadi ke clinic, biar dia tido. Sepanjang malam I asyik terjaga, nak monitor suhu Maryam takut panas naek mendadak tiba-tiba. Nasib baek bangun pagi Maryam dah okay. Alhamdulillah.



Hubs and I realized that Maryam maybe penat sangat ikot parents dia berjalan bajet macam takde anak kecik. We ols pun penat apatah lagik baby. So, we decided not to have any vacation yang memenatkan until Maryam 6-months at least. Singapore trip end of June postponed. Nasib baek I asyik delay nak book flight ticket. Sorry Maryam. Ummi Ayah janji, tunggu awak besar sikit ye. 

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Back to the Office

Salam :)

Today is my first day at the office after 3-months maternity leave.

Today is my first time apart from my baby girl. 

Like all mother out there, how I wish I can be 24-hours with my baby girl. Ya Allah, since Maghrib semalam I dah start drama air mata. Sedih kot. Usually Maryam bukak mata je ngadap muka Ummi dia, and today I am not there.

And, to make things even worst, I left my handphone at home. Damn. Hubs got 2 phone, and I borrowed one. Not because I want to get access to instagram or what, it just that I need to look at my baby girl picture while I am away from her. I did bring her last nigh wash cloths. Ada bau Maryam.

I didn't function at the office today. Still in the midst of sorting out email. I didn't bother to read all email one by one, I straight away forwarded it to archive. Not in the mood.

After this, I am going to hibernate and pumping milk at the musolla until lunch time.

I am not going to express my feelings much here, or else I cry like a Niagara fall.

I miss my baby girl damn much :(

Friday, May 17, 2013

MaryamNurZahra' : Flight Experience

Salam :)

Ne lebih kepada Ummi Maryam bawak Maryam first time naek flight. 

#11 May 2013
# Age: 2 months 3 weeks

First time, sorang-sorang pulak. Even flight 45minit je pun tapi tetap nervous. I decided naek MAS sebab lagik baby-friendly dan I pilih seat depan sekali. Hubs suruh amek business class, tapi memikirkan sayang duet (baek beli Sofina bag. Haha) dan 45minit je pun, laen kali jelah.

I nak amek flight pagi actually, sebab Maryam senang tido time pagi tapi MAS xde flight pagi. Redah je flight malam. Maryam was okay masa tunggu nak boarding. Boleh maen-maen dengan MakTok & TokAbah lagik. 




Masa nak masuk ke balai berlepas, I nak wearing Maryam dalam Boba, so that I ada cukup tangan nak tunjuk boarding pass bagai. Tapi si kecik tu meragam pulak taknak duduk dalam Boba. So, I just gantung Boba kat pinggang sebab I taknak pegang banyak barang.

Masa menunggu kat balai berlepas, I duduk je dia menanges. Haish, I dah gelabah. Ke sana sini berjalan. Then menanges kuat gila, I terpaksa bagi susu. I ingat nak hold sampai masuk flight. I bagi dalam 1 oz, pastu dia tertido. Legaaa. Masa nak masuk flight, parents with infant boleh masuk dulu, I taknak masuk dulu sebab Maryam kang duduk dia terjaga. Plus flight awal-awal tu takde aircond lagik, panas hoii. Tapi semua orang keliling I suruh I pergi depan. Sampai la pekerja MAS yang check boarding pass menjerit suruh I pergi depan. Hadoi, femes seketika. Masa jalan ke depan, ada la 2-3 orang dok tanya, 'sorang je ke?'. Bila orang tanya camtu, I pun start gelabah dah. Haha.

Seperti diduga, duduk je dalam flight Maryam terjaga. Susah hokayh travel sorang-sorang with baby. Beg I letak kat depan I, tapi ada susu Maryam. Takkan nak letak bawah. I tak boleh letak beg atas riba. I tawakal dalam hati, kali ne je I letak susu kat bawah. Allah dengar kata hati I, akak yang duduk sebelah I tanya sama ada nak dia pegangkan beg I? Takkan nak suh dia pegang kan? So I mintak tolong kakak tu amek susu, blanket & wash cloth Maryam. Sebab I nak tunduk amek bag pun susah. Kakak yang baek hati tu tolong pegang susu Maryam. 

Stewardess pun baek hati datang bagi bantal. Selesa sikit Maryam. Masa stewardess datang explain pasal laluan kecemasan, macam mana nak pakai corong udara dekat Maryam sume I dah blur. Dah penat sangat dah I. 


Time stewardess demo pasal jaket keselamatan bagai, Maryam boleh pusing nak tengok. Sibuk betul. Muka dia memang teruja habes. Stewardess pun asyik senyum tengok dia. 

Masa nak take off, I baringkan Maryam. I nak bagi susu, nak elakkan dia sakit telinga/terkejut. Tp si kecik ne taknak susu. Budak ne jakun sangat naek flight. Mulut dia dok 'ooooo' ja. Orang keliling I dok gelak tengok Maryam. Yang I ne nervous takut dia nanges. 

Masa flight dah stabil kat ats Maryam dok ajak I borak. Layan-layan dia, pastu bagi susu lagik. I taknak bagi susu habes sebab I nak simpan masa touch down. Ne yang susah kalau tak breastfeed baby, kalau bf boleh selak je kan?? :(

Maryam memang tak tido lansung dalam flight. Excited kot. I kena agah-agah dia nak elak dia bosan kan? I nak menom juice dan makan kacang pun susah. Kakak sebelah yang tolong pegang cup, masukkan kacang dalam beg. I dahaga sangat, so I need to drink jugak. Maryam memang tak duduk diam. Lenguh tangan I.

Bila nak touch down, telinga I dah sakit. So, I cepat-cepat bagi Maryam menom susu. Elok je dah touch down, Maryam boleh tido. Geram je I. Bila dia tido, sangat senang nak masukkan dia dalam Boba. 



Dari keluar flight, amek luggage, dalam kete dia tido je. Sampai je rumah mata celik segar bugar. Haihla budak kecik ne. 

Untung awak Maryam, kecik-kecik dah naek flight. Ummi umur 19tahun baru dapat naek flight tau.




Thursday, May 16, 2013

MaryamNurZahra' : Bergolek & Meniarap

Salam :) 

# 16 May 2013

Semalam Maryam dah boleh golek-golek badan dan pusing meniarap sendiri. Ya Allah rasa nak menanges boleh witness sendiri. Sebelum ne dia setakat golek kiri kanan ja. Semalam dah mampu meniarap. 

(1) I biar atas tilam camne sementara I lipat kaen kat sebelah.



(2) Sekali tengok dah pusing macam ne. Dah la terkeluar dari tilam. Dasyat ini budak. Maryam kena ayu-ayu tau. 



(3) I angkat dia duduk atas tilam elok-elok, pastu terus terlena. Hahaaha. 



Comel ja. Bila Ayah balik keje malam, I suruh Maryam tunjuk kat Ayah, dalam setengah jam jugak la dia usaha nak bergolek dan meniarap. Kecoh Ayah satu rumah dapat tengok. Good girl Maryam.

Ayah & Ummi love you so much :)

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Impulse Buying

Salam :)

'Impulse buying disrupts the normal decision making models in consumers' brains. The logical sequence of the consumers' actions is replaced with an irrational moment of self gratification. Impulse items appeal to the emotional side of consumers.' - wikipedia

It is happening to me lately. 😩

I went to collect my parcel this morning at Batu Caves Pos Laju. (I pun taktau asal sampai ke Batu Caves I kena collect?). In my mind, it must be something that I bought from Groupon. Gigih hokayh maen aci redah cari Pos Laju kat sana. Sebab bawak Maryam kot Allah permudahkan senang je jumpa. 
Bila dapat barang, i was shocked, what the heck is this? Besarnya parcel. Can you imagine, sebelah tangan dukung Maryam, sebelah lagik galas beg. Nak pegang parcel yang gedabak lagik. Nak bukak pintu lagi. 

Masa letak parcel I nampak from FashionValet. Haaa??? Bila masa aku shopping kt FV ne?? I mean, I did stalk the website. Berkira-kira nak beli baju kurung for Maryam & Soffina bag. Yes I did put it into the cart. But I will check out everytime sampai bahagian payment. Ada la 3-4 kali I buat macam tu. Seriously, I tak ingat lansung yang I proceed to payment. 

Now..Maryam got her first baju kurung & I got my blue Sofina handbag. I must say I love both to bits.




And I am still tak puas hati, who proceed to the payment. Hubs said it's okay, just admit and he don't mind at all. How am I going to admit if myself cannot remember a thing. This online shopping habit going insane. 

I need to control this habit. Bukan sahaja mudaratkan poket tapi jugak menggugat jiwa. Sumpah hoii I tak ingat. Nanti nak kena cek I bayar guna m2u ke or credit card??





Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Dapur Berasap : Udang Masak Lemak Cili Api

Salam :)

Alkisahnya dapur I jarang sangat berasap sejak dari mengandung dulu. Haha. 

Semalam hari rajin I, bangun pagi buat nasi goreng cina untuk breakfast sebelum hubs pergi kerja. I termasak banyak, so lunch pun nasi goreng jugak. Haha. 

Petang macam tu, Maryam tido sekejap I pun terasa nak masak untuk dinner. Hubs balik nanti boleh terus makan. Teringat nak pakai resipi Aunty Nani Rostam, mak si Hanis Zalikha. Resipi Aunty nampak mudah, sesuai la untuk si pemalas macam I. 

Serious senang sangat dan rasanya sangat sedap. I yang tak pandai masak pun kagum dengan pencapaian I. Haha. Kebetulan MIL & FIL datang rumah semalam, FIL I siap tanya beli mana masak lemak ne? Hak hak hak. Hidung hubs kembang kempis bangga cakap isteri dia masak. 

Sebelum tido hubs cakap pagi esok nak breakfast masak lemak tu makan dengan nasi. Sedap lettew. So, pagi tadi I bangun just tambah udang dalam kuah masak lemak tu sebab kuah still banyak.

Nah, ne resipi Aunty Nani. Memang effortlessly sedap, tak sampai 15minit dah siap. 


I ikot sebijik resipi ne, kecuali I tak pakai bawang merah sebab bawang merah dah habes, so I gantikan dengan sebiji bawang besar. Santan kotak I masukkan 200ml ja, sebab tak jumpa santan kotak yang 250ml. Tapi tu pun dah cukup lemak bagi I. Dan I tak masukkan nenas. Sebab, I & hubs tak makan nenas dan I pun taktau macam mana nak kupas & potong nenas. Hahahah. 

Mak I selalu pesan, kalau masak ikot resipi orang jangan menderhaka kat resipi banyak sangat, nanti tak jadi. So semalam I memang follow sebijik-sebijik. Masa nak masukkan 2 cawan air I dah confused, Aunty Nani pakai cawan ape eh? I takut I terlebih/terkurang air. I bukan jenis orang yang reti agak-agak. Orang selalu masuk dapur ja pandai agak-agak ne. I belom cukup ilmu. Hee. 


Please don't judge on the look, the picture doesn't do justice. Haha. Tak nampak udang & tomato sangat sebab kuah I banyak. Terlebih air lettew. 

Monday, May 13, 2013

When in Bali


Salam :)

We went to Bali somewhere in November last year. Can't recall the exact date. Haha. I was 6-months pregnant at that time.

Bali is awesome. You can't shopping much there, but you will enjoy the sight-seeing and beautiful beach.

I am glad we went there while my baby girl still in my womb. Susah nak travel while having baby because the preferred transport is scooter. Syok round naek scooter, especially the night life, memang best tengok gelagat matsalleh drunk at the bar along the road.




Hubs enjoyed surfing and he spend most of the time at the beach. While I followed the girls pergi Uluwatu, Legian Beach etc. Oh we went there in a big group, about 20 people. Trip with my family-in-laws. Kat Uluwatu nak pergi tengok Kecak Dance tu kena mendaki sikit, I yang tengah 6-months pregnant memang kaki membengkak bagai gajah la. Sakit kaki gilaaa. The sunset view worth the pain. I found the Kecak Dance quite scary and weird. Dah lah time Maghrib, memang tak henti-henti I berdoa. Takutt hoii.







The Kuta Beach sangat-sangat happening. Dengan ombak besarnya, ramai matsalleh, nice view gila. Sebagai orang pregnant, I tak berani nak join adik ipar and cousins mandi laut and maen ombak. Jadi pemerhati bebas ja. 



My hubs and I bawak sejuta rupiah je sebab trip di sponsor oleh MIL. Haha, but we cant resist the crocs there. Sungguh design crocs kat sana sangat rare, ada a few yang takde kat sini. Harga sama sahaja tapi beli sebab design chantek. Hubs did shopping a lot. Kasut la, sandal, jeans, baju, macam-macam la. I beli sepasang crocs dan fridge magnet kat peti ais sendiri ja. Being pregnant (read:extra penat), you wont remember to buy souvenir to family and friends. Sungguh. Sorry sangat-sangat. 





Food? Susah nak cari makanan halal. Ada 1 kedai makanan nasi padang nearby hotel. So hari-hari ulang alik kedai tuh ja. Sebaek sedap. At night time, kalau lapar I pergi makan pizza hut. Even ada sign halal, tapi banyak kali jugak tanya waiter kat situ. Lepas dia convinced yang dia pun muslim baru yakin. Did tried the pizza yang takde kat Malaysia, the taste was not bad. Tapi tak ingat flavor ape. Pelupaaa.

All in all, I must say Bali is a must visit place. Will go there again bila Maryam dah besar sikit. Tapi mungkin cover area Legian ke yang private sikit. Kuta quite busy la.








Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Deactivated

Salam :)

I have decided to deactivate my Facebook account for a while. The reason being is, I just cant stand the rantings on pasca-general election. Annoying.

According to a friend, she can stand the lovey-dovey messages of girlfriends-boyfriends on her news feed but not the GE rantings. So did I. As much as I annoyed couples who live under one roof but replying each other messages on FB (they want the world to know how sweet they are perhaps *hands on the chest, rolling eyes up*), these GE rantings are more annoying. Period.


I do not want to judge people, especially close people in my heart. True colours appeared. Too much hatred, too much negative vibes. I felt like I don't get enough oxygen reading those keyboard warriors rantings. Don't let me start with the languages used. Fainted :(


Saturday, May 4, 2013

Politikus

Salam :)

This is going to be my first and last post regarding 13th general election.

This is my first time to cast my vote. The last time, I was studying in Sarawak. Excited?? Of course.

Hubs was kind enough to send me back home. Even fahaman politik kami berdua berbeza. He's an extremist. Seriously, I never met someone who passionate about politic like him. Kalau I sibuk online baca blog kawan-kawan, dia sibuk baca blog politik aje. We don't talk much about politic. Sebab takut bergaduh. Kalau balik rumah family hubs, tadah telinga dengar ja propaganda politik masing-masing. Same goes to him kalau balik kampung I. I bukan hardcore politic, my parents are. I choose to observe. Because deep down I sendiri taktau nak percaya pihak mana.

In my prayers, I always asked Allah to show which is right, which is wrong. Sebab I jadi takut. When I started to believed other party, then dengar/baca yang sebaliknya. I pun tak yakin dengan party yang I yakin selama ne.

Sometimes, I am so tired with these politic issues. But I just cant choose to not bother. Kerap kali I rasa kenapa politik Malaysia ne kotor? A tuduh B, B tuduh A. A cakap B samseng, B cakap A samseng. Penat. Taktau nak percaya mana.

I had tried digging one issue, tak nak percaya cakap atas angin ja. When I started to believed with what I found out, dikhabarkan pulak source I tu tak betul. Website kena hacked. Demm, it becomes hard for me. You know, this game will never end. Macam isu Lahad Datu, A cakap B dalang, B cakap A dalang. Padahal nyawa berapa orang terkorban. Can you both stop doing that and think of the public.

In my conclusion, you choose what you want to hear. What you want to read. What you want to believed. Macam orang A percaya apa dalam Buletin Utama & Utusan Malaysia. Dia taknak percaya apa ada dalam web Rakyat Marhaen, Malaysia Kini & Harakah Daily. Begitu jugak sebaliknya. Orang A claim source B menipu, orang B pun rasa source A seleweng. Sama sahaja.

Macam kat KL, makcik kawan I kena pukul dengan geng A yang tengah konvoi. Kat kampung I pulak, budak konvoi moto B pukul dan maki hamun sorang pakcik yang naek moto tampal bendera A. See, politik kotor dengan golongan macam ne. Yang majoritinya budak-budak yang tak layak mengundi lagik pun.

I am against corruption, kroni, parti anak beranak, seleweng, control media masa (it is obviously unfair) dan sombong dengan rakyat. I am against campaign yang beriya mengutuk orang. Can you just campaign highlight what you want to strive for public instead of stabbing directly to your opposition. Politik kotor namanya.

Kalau tengok kat FB lagi sakit kepala. Cukup la sorang post status berbaur politik. Punya la bederet komen pro dan anti. Bahasa takyah cakap la, memang tak mencerminkan budaya dan budi bahasa. Naseb baek Insta tak seteruk FB. Cuma I nampak sekali, Elfira Loy upload gambar dia kat event NajibMyPm kot, ada orang comment kat dia cakap 'macai hardcore'. Relaks la bro. Dia tak boleh mengundi pun. If Yes pun, can u just leave her page and move on with your life. Kalau takde nice things to say, baek you diam.

I taktau apa isu Azhar Sulaiman sampai dia pergi report polis. Got to do dengan politik jugak ke? Tapi ada orang komen cakap, 'aku doa dia mati kena sambar petir' & ' Kalau B menang, banned dia je kat TV'. Ya Allah, orang Islam doa kat Islam laen macam tu. Sedih.

Kalau tengok flyers, pasal isu hudud. A spread one side of issue ja. Macam kalau hudud di aplikasi, kena tengok wayang seperate laki perempuan dan few issue yang I rasa sangat tak adil. Cuba nak menakutkan non-muslim barangkali.

Isu keji lagi satu adalah kalau B amek alih, artis perempuan tak boleh menyanyi/belakon lagik. Kerjaya akan tamat macam tuh je.

Kenapa nak guna taktik kotor?

Ada satu post I baca, cakap B tediri dari orang educated. Orang educated pilih B. Jadi yang tinggal kat A, semua orang buta hati. Amboihhhh.

Penat weii...

I chose to vote the person itself instead of the party. If the candidate is kind enough, banyak tolong orang kampung but he's not from your favourite party, takkan you nak buta tuli vote jugak orang laen?? Unless 2-2 calon memang humble, down to earth then you have to consider you nak bagi mandat kat parti mana?

Cepatlah semua ne berakhir. Sapa pun yang menang, jalankan amanah Allah ne sebaek mungkin.

Yang kalah, terima kenyataan. Next election cuba lagik.

Please stop accusing one another. Kami rakyat biasa, nak apa yang dijanjikan. Nak hidup aman damai tanpa dendam.

Sekian.

#pendapat diri sendiri, takde kaitan yang hidup mahupun mati.





Saturday, April 27, 2013

Emo

Salam :(

Hate the situation when I have to explain why I am not fully breastfeed my baby girl. Do I have to?

Just received a long email from a friend (who concerned so much of me) telling me what to consumes and whatnot. Complete with the list of lactation consultants and not to forget the negative effects of formula milk. Duhh.. Siap tanya lagik, ne dah buat ke? Betul ke dah buat? Intro email, 'I heard that you are giving fm to your baby, why don't you bf your baby? Pity little Maryam.'

Thanks babe, but no thanks. I would appreciate if you could just mind your own business.

I am working on it. What I really need is your support, not being so judgemental and thinking that I just sit down and do nothing.

I love my baby girl more than everything. I only want to give her not only the best, but the bestest I could give. I am willing to die for her. Please please please stop being so concern when I wonder where are you all this while???


#emotahapgaban :(

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Majlis Aqiqah Maryam Nur Zahra'

Salam :)

Date : 3 March 2013 (Sunday)

Masa ne Maryam baru berusia 13hari dan Umminya pun masih dalam pantang. We ols aqiqah kan seekor kambing untuk Maryam.

Al-kisahnya we ols tumpang majlis tunang adik ipar I. Tapi memang majlis tunang tu ditunda-tunda supaya boleh tunggu I bersalin dulu. Naseb baek adik ipar I dan family tunang dia boleh tunggu. Haha. Maryam cucu sulung sebelah hubs I. Memang boleh nampak keterujaan tu. Masa I tengah mengandung memang la dilayan baek punya. Kalau tercakap nak makan spagheti pukul 11malam, time tu jugak MIL I kerah hubs pergi beli.

We ols tak buat majlis berendoi & cukur jambul pun. Sebab, I masih dalam pantang tak kuasa nak beriya bagai. Rambut Maryam dicukur 2 days before majlis aqiqah, iaitu pada 1 March 2013 (Jumaat). So, hari kenduri tu dimulakan dengan majlis tunang adik ipar I. Pastu acara makan-makan sampai ke petang.

Tapi guests yang datang semua tau lah PIL I baru dapat cucu. Haha. Maryam dapat banyak hadiah gilaaa. I tukang collect duet dan hadiah. Sebab semua orang sebok nak pegang Maryam. Hadiah paling best adalah Burberry dress. Adoi, tak sabar I nak tunggu Maryam besar nak pakaikan dress tu. Ummi awak pun tak pernah ada barang Burberry sayang oii.

Ayah si Maryam ne paling kalut hari tu. Excited baru jadi Ayah la katakan. Kawan I ke, kawan dia ke yang datang, memang dia cepat-cepat pergi amek Maryam nak tunjuk. Most of the time, I dalam rumah je. Dengan lampin, bip maryam dalam kocek baju melayu dia lagik. Semua orang cakap, jatuh saham hubs I, semua orang tau dia ada anak dah. Tupun dia nak beli belt yg khas untuk letak segala barang Maryam, senang nak gerak tanpa tercicil barang Maryam. Of course la I tak bagi beli, entah ape-ape la my hubs ne. Bukan boleh diikut sangat rasa excited dia tuh.

Hmm..tanggungjawab untuk aqiqah kan Maryam dah selesai. Lega. Lepas ne Ummi & Ayah nak kena selesaikan tanggungjawab sunatkan awak pulak la sayang.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Period Selepas Bersalin

Salam :)

I got my period yesterday. Haish. I don't know I should be worry or not. I mean, haish kenapa cepat sangat?

I am not fully breastfeed my baby. Sebab tu kot datang awal. Apa la I ne, pasal period pun nak update kat blog. Haha. I terkaku jap bila tau dah period. I checked with my friend, dia cakap kalau period datang normal lepas habes nifas adalah orang tersebut sangat subur. Orang fully breastfeed tak termasuk hokayh. Tu la untungnya BF anak. :( sobs.

Dah lama tak period, sekali mai rasa nak demam betul.

Bila sebut subur I pulak lah yang risau. Nextweek baru checkup dengan my gynae. Nanti I tanya what choice do I have for family planning. Sementara nak jumpa gynae, can u girls help me with these:

(1) Checkup lepas bersalin, gynae check ape? Dont tell me ada adegan seluk-menyeluk lagik. Gerun mak :(

(2) For family planning, choice ape yg okay? Implant? Pills? Cucuk bontot? Ape yang tak affect milk production?

(3) How long does it take for stitches down there to be okay? Malu nak cakap, tapi I memang tak pernah tengok cermin or sentuh dengan jari kat tempat jait tuh. Seriauuu. When the stitches actually dissolve? I iz risau. :(

P.s. Haaa, semalam I tengok WHI. Gynae from Columbia Asia Hospital said, there is no research proven that perineal massage do help for vagina wall tearing. But westeners keep on doing that. Kalau nak buat jugak, buatlah guna olive oil. Sekian. Ok, bai.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Sabar

Salam :)

I mengaku, masa pregnant I selalu la baca pasal parenting neh. Nak fully equipped kononnya. Berusaha nak jadi Ummi yang terbaek. Tapi bila anak dah ada depan mata, perkara paling penting yang I sedar adalah SABAR.

Sabar dalam segala hal. Paling mencabar bila kita dah penat and sleepy, si kecik ne taknak jugak tido. Nak ajak borak/maen. Dalam hati memang berperang habes dengan segala rasa. Kadang-kadang rasa nak mengeluh, tapi tahan-tahan. Selalunya dalam hati I terlintas, 'Ummi penat ne, tido lah cepat', takpun, 'Nape nanges lagik ne?'. Ya Allah, dipohon kesabaran yang tinggi. Ujian ne kecil sahaja.

Apa yang I belajar, kalau dalam hati berperang dengan perkara negatif, lagik I penat. Lagik masalah tak selesai. Baby pun faham yang Ummi dia dok bergolak dengan perasaan. Lagik dia taknak tido. Lagik dia menanges. Bila I dah tenang, dah boleh handle rasa segala rasa negatif, I perasan Maryam will sleep easily and will stop crying. Bila Maryam dah fall asleep, tengok muka dia memang rasa Ya Allah, berbaloinya rasa penat mengantuk semua tu.

Terima Kasih Ya Allah atas kurniaan-Mu ini.

Sabar yang tak kurang pentingnya adalah pabila banyak sangat orang terlebih concern melampau kat anak kita. Relatives and parent's friends been constantly visiting Maryam. And Maryam got constipation problems these few days. Banyak la nasihat free yang I rasa hmmmphh. Ada yang suruh bagi makan limau, prune la, madu la. Hello, Maryam is just about 2-months old. Ada sorang ne lagik la, dia cakap anak dia dulu pun susah nak poo poo, dah tukar semua jenis susu pun sama jugak. Last-last dia stop susu bagi air masak je kat anak dia. Bila nurse kat KK marah dia cakap la anak dia membesar sihat aje. FYI, I tengok anak dia ingat baru 2tahun lebih, rupanya dah dekat 4tahun. Kecik kurus kering anak dia. So boleh agak la kan, dia advice the same thing dekat I. Dengar aje lah. Lepas kes tu I dah pesan kat Mak I, takyah la nak cerita pasal Maryam susah nak poo poo lagik. Malas nak dengar nasihat macam-macam ne.

Yang paling I geram, ada satu petang tu I bawa Maryam jalan-jalan depan rumah. Ada la sorang ustazah ne lalu depan rumah. Kebetulan Maryam tengah nanges, sebab I berhenti baca asma-ul-husna. (I dah lenguh mulut time ne). Ustazah tu memang tak berhenti pun. Lalu senyum aje. Esoknya Abah I pergi la beli Ikan Bakar, terserempak dengan kawan-kawan dia yang tengah makan kat situ, dorang semua cakap dorang dengar cerita yang cucu Abah I ne tak sehat (read:ada masalah kesihatan) sebab asyik nanges ja. Bila Abah I tanya sape cerita? Dorang cakap ustazah tu yang cerita. OMG. Abah I marah sangat. I dengar pun lagik la marah. Ya Allah, sabar je la. I tak kacau hidup Ustazah tu pun. :(

Hari-hari I cakap kat diri I masa bangun tido. Hari ne kena lebih sabar. Hari ne kena lebih sabar.

Lahirnya Maryam dalam hidup ktorang adalah kurniaan besar dari Allah, jadi I mesti jaga diri dan peribadi supaya tak sia-siakan amanat Allah ne. InshaAllah :)

Thursday, April 11, 2013

MaryamNurZahra' : at 53days

Salam :)

I fall in love with her over and over again. :)

Her weight as at 9 April 2013 : 5.02kg (Paed cakap dah terlebih berat. Sepatutnya sebulan naek 600gm aje)

1.  Dah pandai senyum. Especially bila tengah kenyang.

2. Suka mengempeng. Ya Allah, penat Ummi awak sayang.

3. Nak kena tido bepelok dengan Ummi sentiasa. Dah pelok lama baru boleh letak atas tilam.

4. Tido nak kena dodoi tepok-tepok bontot dan perut. Nyanyi lagu dia taknak. Nak kena baca ayat qursi, al-fatihah, berzikir bernasyid baru nak lelap. Kadang-kadang Ummi bukak youtube kalau dah tak larat.

5. Selalu cuba nak immitate Ummi buat bunyi guna lidah. Tapi awak tak pandai lagi, awak angkat je lidah tapi tak bunyi pun. Air liur je meleleh banyak.

6. Suka jelir lidah bila nak goda orang angkat dia. Paed cek perut pun awak goda jugak ye sayang.

7. Suka mandi. Sangat. Kaki tu asyik menolak je bath tub. Dah la awak tu panjang, Ummi risau kepala awak terhantuk ja. Berkocak-kocak air dibuatnya.

8. Dah pandai cakap telefon. Millenium betul awak oii. Bila Ayah call letak hp kat tepi telinga, pandai dengar. Kalau tengah nanges pun boleh diam. Kalau Ayah panggil-panggil nama awak, pandai senyum. Kalau Ayah cakap rindu, buat muka sedih. Ya Allah, indahnya canteknya ciptaan Allah ne.

9. Marah kalau nak letak bedak sejuk kat muka. Kat kepala takpe. Nak sapu cream kat leher pun marah.

10. Suara nyaring begetar telinga Ummi bila awak nanges. Nanges macam orang cubit dia je.

11. Suka kalau Ummi maen kaki awak macam naek basikal. Padahal Ummi nak bagi awak senang poo poo.

12. Dah tak berjaga malam. Kalau siang hari tak banyak tido, malam boleh tido lama sangat. Haritu Ummi pening pale, awak baek sangat tido dari pukul 12am - 6am tak bangun-bangun. Menom susu pun tak. Ummi terjaga pukul 4 dok pelik sorang-sorang nape awak boleh tido straight.

13. Waktu tengahhari taknak tido. Nak ajak maen borak-borak.

14. Menanges kalau terjaga tido takde orang sebelah awak.

15. Sangat behave kalau orang datang visit awak. Diam je. Takpun awak tido tak bergerak lansung. Seminit je lepas orang balik, awak mula la merengek nak mengempeng.

16. Suka berjalan-jalan. Masuk je kereta letak kat carseat terus diam. Tapi bila kete berhenti (traffic light/jammed) mula la awak buat muka/bunyi takpuas hati. Kalau ikot Ummi shopping pun behave aje. Tido je kalau Ummi babywearing awak. Terjaga pun, pandai tido sendiri balik.

Note:
#1 Ummi awak tak sabar nak tunggu 2bulan nak update progress awak, 53hari dah terus update.

#2 Ummi sedang cuba nak biar awak tido unaided.

#3 Ummi risau bila tinggal berdua kat KL nanti, Ummi tak sempat mandi, makan dan kemas rumah aje.

#4 Ummi taksabar nak bawak awak jalan-jalan.

#5 Ummi nak balik Kedah untuk mengundi. Tapi tak confident nak naek flight berdua je dengan awak. During take off & boarding, Ummi risau awak nanges dan Ummi taktau nak handle je. Kalau telinga awak bengang, awak menjerit macam mane? Hohoho

#4 Ummi sayang awak sepenuh jiwa raga tau :)

Friday, April 5, 2013

Day 46

Salam :)

Officially, my confinement period has ended. Thanks Allah. I had prawn sambal and masak lemak ketam cili api for lunch today. Nikmat. Juadah hari raya I. Haha.Of course, my hubs didnt know about it. Haha. Heaven.

I pergi berurut lagik hari ne. Bila I jalan, rasa bahagian bawah nak jatuh ja. So, makcik tu urut dan cakap urat batu meroyan I tak masuk betul. Sakit ya haiii.

I urut susu jugak. Makcik urut tu cakap lubang susu I ada 3 ja. Orang ada 7 lubang. Sakit gila-gila. Dah la nipples I berdarah, dia picit-picit ya rabbi. Sakit gila. Sakit sungguh. Patutla I pernah baca orang cakap sakit urut breast macam sakit nak bersalin. Tapi I tak sampai tahap sakit tu la. Dia picit-picit sampai menitik susu. Ada la 2,3 titik mengalir. Kalau ikot pengalaman dia, kalau berurut selalunya susu memancut keluar. Tapi I punya tak memancut pun. Dalam hati I positif gila. Cakap banyak kali, NOT YET,.NOT YET. Nanti memancut la tu. Dia suruh I sapu bedak sejuk sebelum tido, bagi ketul-ketul susu pecah. Pagi-pagi pas mandi, sikat ke arah nipples. I ikhtiar aje, mana tau berhasil kan? Tak rugi pun mencuba.

What I like about kampung is, orang kampung tak berkira, buat kerja ikhlas. Macam I urut the whole body dan urut breast, I tanya dia berapa? Dia cakap ikot ikhlas. Kat KL I bayar 130 hari tu. Bila I bagi 100, dia cakap banyak sangat. Orang kat sini urut bersalin 3hari pun baru 120. Murah. I urut 3hari + urut breast kena 330. So, makcik tu amek 40 ja. Super cheap okayh. Tu temasuk I beli air zamzam 2 botol lagik. Next time nak balik mengurut kat kampung la.

I berani bawak kereta dah hari ne. Dah makan makin banyak. Kan time pantang tak boleh tambah nasik, tadi memang I makan bertambah. Hoho. I tak jadi cut off nasik during dinner. Sebab Pet cakap nasik adalah milk booster dia. Who knows, it might be my milk booster too.

I am all fresh and feel lighter after mengurut just now. ;) Tapi nak timbang I tak beranii.

And....I dah terasa nak dapat baby lagik. Boleh? Hahahaha :)

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Struggling

Salam :)

My breastfeeding journey is not easy as others.

I never knew, breastfeeding is going to be very tough on me. Really, did not expect I am the one who's being tested by Ya Rabb.

Sudahlah perjalanan nak breastfeed berliku bagai. Flat nipples, bengkak susu, sakit kat tempat jait dan macam-macam lagik. Nak kena hadap orang yang tak support I nak breastfeed lagik. Paling parah nak hadap orang yang ingat I tak cuba buat apa-apa lansung. Kau beranak je susu memancut keluar, takyah nak cakap pandai yang aku tak usaha buat ape-ape lansung. :(

Ada yang tau I amek drugs (Maxolon & Domperidone) untuk tambah susu, senang hati cakap jangan depends on drugs. Try natural sources. Tell me, ape lagik I tak cuba. Most of the milk booster orang cakap kat internet I try.

Bila I cakap I tak pakai bengkung tradisional, I pakai PB, sebok cakap kat I yang tak perlu semua tu, bagi anak breastfeed confirm kurus. If you know....

Paling tak tahan yang I rasa layak dimaki pabila sebok cakap asal anak I tak tembam macam budak baya Maryam. Pastu dia sendiri jawab, 'oh, tak menom susu terbaek kat dunia ne'. Then sambung cakap I deny my daughter's rights. Her argument is,  adalah hak anak untuk menyusu badan sehingga 2 tahun. Okay fine. Tengok la nanti Kadang-kadang I pelik, manusia ne dekat anak sanggup nak bagi yang terbaek, cakap pong pang pong pang. Tapi untuk diri sendiri taknak fikir nak bagi yang terbaek pun. Still lagik makan fast food setiap masa, amek ais berlebihan dan tak exercise pun. Kalau sayang anak, kena la sayang diri sendiri dulu. Kalau kita sakit, sape nak jaga anak kita?

At first, I found myself keep explaining why I give Maryam fm. Lama-lama, what the heck I have to explain to them. You know, peer pressure. They made you feel bad for not being able to fully bf your daughter. Sekarang ne, I malas nak kesah. They are going to judge me anyway.

I jadi tak malu, contact friends yang breastfeed anak dorang. I mintak tips macam mana nak banyakkan susu. Ramai yang sangat membantu. Sangat supportive dan cuba faham keadaan I. Ada jugak yang jawab, 'takyah buat ape-ape pun. Susu I memang banyak'. Fine, rezeki kau kan?

Dan sampai tahap I contact stranger how she managed to bf and df her son. Hai Pet, you are no longer stranger. Thanks for being so helpful. Even time Hamza admitted kat Pantai pun you still reply my msgs. And Miza too, for listening and for sharing what to eat/consume/take. Sometimes I ponder, why someone yang tak kenal/rapat sangat being so helpful but the one yang close tak support lansung. I thank Allah for these love, for sending orang-orang baek hati cantek budi dekat I.

For the past 2weeks, I df Maryam occasionally (She still refused df btw. She just suck because I forced her to and it last for few minutes before she fall asleep) and did not pump the milk. The only reason is I am giving it up. Honestly, I am so tired, tried so hard to df until Maryam trauma I guess. Nampak je breast, terus tutup mulut rapat-rapat. Kalau mood Maryam tak okay, dia menjerit meraung la. Bila pump pulak, 6pumping session (1-hour for each session) baru bejaya kumpul 2oz. It's a hardwork, I must said.

Hubs kept on asking, hari ne df Maryam tak? Hari ne pump tak? I jadi serba salah. All this while dia sorang aje yang support I 100% untuk bf Maryam. Bila I mengeluh setiap kali pump penuh setakat lantai botol ja, hubs akan cakap, 'Alhamdulillah. Rezeki Maryam.' I googled, baca kisah orang yang relactation. Buat I semangat. Kalau dorang yang stop bf for few months dan start nak bf boleh je berjaya, takkan I yang masih dalam pantang ne nak give up camtuh aje.

Now, I dah start balik routine I. I taknak paksa Maryam df lagik now, takut dia terus reject ja. What I do, before put her into sleep, I gentel-gentel kan nipple kat pipi dan bibir Maryam. Hasil usaha 2,3 hari ne, Maryam dah tak tutup mulut rapat - rapat. So, I let her sucking my nipples (bukan aerola ye) before sleep. Hasilnya, nipple I luka dan berdarah. Takpe, I boleh tahan, asalkan dia tak fobia nampak breast dah.

I buat jadual pump dan follow closely. Night time selalu jugak terbabas. Masa pump tu I baca kisah-kisah orang yang struggle bf jugak untuk motivate I. 2 hari pertama start balik pump tu, susu setitik pun tak kuar. Kali ne I semangat kuat luar biasa, I teringat kesah sorang akak ne yang mana lepas 4bulan baru dia bf anak dia. Since lahir memang anak dia menom fm ja. Masa mula-mula dia relactation, 2-minggu dia pump kosong takde susu setitik pun. Tapi dia tetap pump sampailah susu melimpah ruah. Dia start fully bf anak dia masa anak dia umur 7bulan lebih. See, dia amek masa 3bulan pun tak pernah give up. Just ada semangat dan komitmen tinggi.

Bila hari ke-3 susu keluar 2 titik sebelah breast kiri, Ya Allah I bersyukur sangat Allah tak tarik nikmat yang I sia-sia kan sebelum ne. Semalam baru breast kanan start keluarkan susu. Tapi masih 2,3 titik aje. Susu I masih tak menitik jatuh dalam botol pun.
Tadi lepas dinner I pump lagik, breast kanan ne berhasilkan 5-6 titik susu, I cepat-cepat letak atas sudu dan suap kat mulut Maryam. Dapatlah awak rasa sikit susu Ummi ye nak. Dah seminggu lebih tak rasa susu Ummi. Syukur sangat, dapat bagi Maryam rasa susu Ummi dia ne, even setakat nak basahkan lidah dia je.

I percaya dan pegang words ne dari dulu, 'peliklah kalau berusaha tapi tak berjaya'. Jadi I memang tengah berusaha. Memang positif habes, memang I dah tahap telan aje kata-kata orang.

Wish me luck girls. I am for it. I percaya one day, rezeki Maryam ada jugak. Tak banyak pun sikit pun jadi la.