Reflect: Be thankful

Salam :)

Ya Allah. Semalam adalah hari yang paling memenatkan. Penat fizikal, mental dan emosi. Despite of the workloads dan berat badan yang kadang-kadang kaki tak dapat menampung, I received lots of bad news. :(

Pagi-pagi before sampai ofis, a besfriend of mine whatsapp-ed me and told about her husband. Her husband diagnosed with a cancer that spread via blood vessels. Ya Allah, besarnya dugaan dia. Sekelip mata, ditimpa ujian yang amat berat. I termenung sepanjang pagi, thinking how both of them going to face this thing. My friend depends on her husband so much. She don't know how to drive, family sangat tak rapat dan hanya husband dia tempat bergantung.

Later than after lunch she updated me that the doctor just told them that her husband at stage 4 cancer. Betapa luluhnya hati I yang mendengar apatah lagi both of them yang menghadapi. Chemo is the only choice they have, which might effect the husband's fertility. They both still takde anak and my friend dah 2 times miscarriage. She told me she dont give a damn about having a baby right now, she just want her husband to be with her. She has nobody else. All this while, she never cried in front of her husband. She remain calm and she is one strong woman I've ever met. Yesterday was the limit when she cant hold her tears and ran to the bathroom, bukak air kuat-kuat and cried out loud when her husband said, 'Maybe my time has come'. :(

I have no blood relationship with her, but she's like my sister. I can feel her. I rasa sesak dada the whole day. Ya Allah, I cant imagine myself in her shoes. Feeling like want to hug her tightly, convinced her everything will be just fine.

After perform Asar prayers, I received another news, one of my friends yang kawen dah 6years, still takde baby because of tiub fallopio tersumbat and she decided to try the last resort solutions by performing IVF and the pregnancy result after IVF is negative. Ya Allah,  dia bukan dari kalangan orang berada, she took personal loan to perform the IVF which cost her nearly 20K. I saksi di mana hari-hari dia suntik ubat untuk kuatkan telor before telor dia dan husband dia dikeluarkan untuk disenyawakan dekat luar. Bukan senang for some people nak conceived. After spend so much and the result is negative memang buat jiwa raga sesiapa pun goyah. Ape yang boleh buat, menangis dan mengadu pada Allah yang satu saja. Semua ini ada hikmah. Dengan keadaan diri I yang sedang mengandung, perut makin.membesar I cant help from feeling guilty. She must be very sad when have to face me everyday. I talked to myself, I wont talk about my baby in front of her. Before she went for long MCs, because she need to bedrest along the IVF process, she once told me, 'nanti baby kite lahir tahun yang sama'. Dia sangat rajin usap -usap perut I, moga melekat jugak dekat dia. One day she went to Secret Recipe and bought me the Choc Mud Cake. She said that she knew I love the cake, that's why she bought it and the baby inside mine must be happy. Only Allah knows how all of us want her to conceive too.
Hang in there sister. Allah have planned better days ahead for you and husband. :(

Then, a cousin of mine called me during Maghrib and told about another cousin who's been admitted to Columbia Asia. I istighfar banyak kali before asking her, due to what reason kena admitted. Penatt ya Allah. Rupanya due to bisul dekat bontot. Lega, not anything that serious. Tapi tetap risau knowing that he's alone to perform the surgery.

My emotion breakdown yesterday. Kita yang sihat ne syukur alhamdulillah. Yang mampu tolong, doa banyak-banyak and recite yassin. Moga-moga dipermudahkan segalanya. I reflect myself, nikmat mana yang mahu aku dustakan. Sombong sangat aku ne sampai tak rasa besyukur lagi dengan apa yang ada. I tangguh-tangguh nak sujud syukur sampai ke malam. Nak tido, I terfikir kalau I bangun esok pagi dan semua benda yang I ada sekelip mata hilang macam mana? Dah terlambat I nak sujud syukur. While husband's sleeping, I bangun and do things yang I should do always tapi dah lama tinggal. Nabi yang maksum tu pun tak pernah tinggal solat taubat apatah lagi I ne hamba Allah yang lemah, kenapa sombong sangat. I burst my tears out yang mana I tahan sepanjang hari. I pun tak tertahan apatah lagi yang memikul. I rasa berat dada ne. Jauhnya I beseronok dengan nikmat Allah tapi lupa nak berterimakasih.

Iman manusia turun naek dan I sangat rasa I at the lowest level of iman tapi I tetap kufur nikmat. Tak rasa nak tingkatkan diri. Sombong tak bertempat, rasa diri hebat. Tengok orang ne nak judge, rasa Allah dah sayang habis kat I, tapi sebenarnya I makin jauh bila Allah bagi ujian kesenangan kat I. Apa yang I nak kejar dalam hidup ne? Apa yang hebat sangat sampai lupa mati itu pasti, dunia hanya sementara, syurga itu selamanya. Pandang langit, ya Allah jauhnya aku dengan Allah. Tapi still tak berusaha nak dekatkan. Kalau Allah kat atas sana pandang I ne, agaknya tak nampak pun I ne tapi Allah tak pernah lupa nak bagi nikmat rezeki, kasih sayang, kesihatan kat I. Allah Maha Penyayang. Ya Allah, rasa diri sangat lemah, dan sememangnya sangat lemah. Ampuni dosaku ya Allah :(

Sorry that I just have to let it out. I feel like sebeban batu yang menghempap atas dada ne. I just have to remind myself especially and who knows it might touch others too. Moga kita semua dalam lindungan Allah. Inshaallah :)

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The Famous Doli's Kotiaw

Salam :)

Have you ever heard about the famous Doli's Kotiaw? Hmmm, I've heard about it before but still don't have an opportunity to taste one until just now.

My hubs and I went to Midvalley for lunch (case mak buyong teringin nak makan Manhattan Fish Market and hubs said it's been ages since we went to Mid together) and on the way back home I told hubs, 'Im hungry and let's try the Doli's?'. There we go to the famous kotiaw in town.

The picture above seems don't do the justice. Sebab I ordered Kotiaw goreng biasa without vege, rupanya memang la tak berapa menarik. Heh, but who cares on the look, the taste memang walah. Superb habes. Kotiaw goreng biasa RM6 per plate. Kalau special RM10, with extra kotiaw and prawns. The best part is prawns dah siap kupas kulit, senang nak makan takyah hegeh-hegeh nak buang kulit segala. I shared with hubs, sebab dia still kenyang. Tapi bagi I jadi tak cukup la bila share. Haha. Disebabkan tak puas makan, I mintak tapau. Hubs geleng kepala tengok wife dia yang tak kenyang-kenyang.

Seriously sedap. Worth pergi ke TTDI nun semata-mata nak makan kat Doli. Kalau sebelum ne I rasa Mali's Kotiaw paling sedap, tapi this one from Doli's ne memang undeniable lagik sebab dari Mali's.

From what I heard, Doli's is from Taiping and memang dah lama bertapak kat sana. From stall tepi jalan and berkembang sampai bukak kedai. Yang cawangan kat TTDI ne, run by his son. Landmark, nearby Pasar Besar TTDI and KPJ Damansara specialist and opposite Hero Market. Located one line with Rozel and the Kitchen Cabinet kedai.

For Kotiaw lovers, please please have a try. :)

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AidilAdha

Salam dearie :)

Surely everyone gathered with the loved ones already right? I am still on my way to Malacca, at hubs hometown. Sg.Besi to Bangi slow giler. Huh...bertolak balik lambat just because nak tengok Adam & Hawa dulu, boleh? Ekeke. Hubs mula-mula tak kuasa nak layan, but then my MIL and SIL pun insisted nak tengok A&H dulu, he can't say much. Girl power!!!

Last raya puasa dah balik Kedah, so ikot sistem giliran raya haji ne my hubs turn. My MIL banyak kali tanya, nape tak balik Kedah? She said Malacca not far away, weekend pun boleh balik. Oh my, lucky me got an understanding MIL. But being a good wife/daughter-in-law, I think I cannot be selfish. My hubs pun nak rasa beraya sebelah dia dulu jugak. Tak aci la kan? I pun taknak kalau asyik-asyik balik kampung hubs je. So, I treat him as how I want to be treated. Fair enough? Ne la yang dikatakan korban. Korban perasaan. Haha.

Anyhow, no matter how I whole heartedly agree for the turn thingy, deep down still rasa sedih tak dapat balik raya with beloved parents. Nak nak, my abg and family pun balik Kedah. I miss my little nephew. :(
I miss everyone back in my hometown. I surely feel raya at Malacca takkan semeriah raya haji at Kedah. I nak makan ketupat pulut/palas. Two days back, when I called my mom and asked what's she doing? She said, tengah bakar kueh raya. Tadi call tengah masak rendang. OMG, I miss my mom cook :(
I can feel the heat, meriahnya raya haji kat sana.

My hubs asyik usik I cakap jangan nanges tau pago raya nanti. He did the same thing I did to him during last raya. Ne kes dia nak balas dendam bila I asyik usik nak nanges lettew when he first time celebrated raya apart from his family. I asked him kalau I nanges pagi raya esok camne? He then replied kalau I nanges, terus siap balik Kedah. Haha. Esok I nak test tengok, betul tak he's willing nak drive balik Kedah. Ekekekeke.

Btw, just want to share. Start from 12am 26/10/12 to 12pm adalah hari wuquf. Jadi, sangatlah afdhal kalau kita nak berdoa mintak ape-ape. Jangan lepaskan peluang. Paling bagus, bangun tengah malam perform solat and then doa what your heart desired. InshaAllah, moga Allah mendengar doa kita.

Dah naek pening I dok type while mobile. Gotta end it now and boleh start cari posisi selesa nak tido dalam kete. Ekekeke. Traffic sangat slow, entah pukul berapa nak sampai Malacca ne. Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha. Jangan makan daging banyak sangat yep. Take care and enjoy with your loved ones. :)

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Parenting Education

Salam

For a first time mother like me, everything seems alien to me.

I don't know what to start with. That's why everytime masuk kedai baby, tuju dekat stroller and carseat aje. The big big item. Haha. But we decided that both of it can buy later, after the confinement.

I did downloaded the newborn checklist, but it still an alien to me. I asked my bestfriend a lot of things. When she said like, 'you need to know what's best for you, personalfit or softfit breastshield?'. Haha. My jaw dropped. What the hell is that?

When I started gather info on the breastpump, I suprised that there are lots of breastpump on the shelf. Manual, electric, double, single. Banyaknye haishhh. Then, dah settle about breastpump, tengok checklist pulak ada sterilizer, warmer, drying rack, PES bottles, pacifier, storage bag, upright freezer, etc. Fuhhh, chapter feeding aje dah buat mak bepeloh noks. Bila survey specific on sterilizer, tekejut lagik, banyak nye jenis. 2in1 la, 3in1 la. Memang kena betul-betul gather info.

Next, chapter on disposable diapers VS cloth diapers. It took me about few days to digest what is cloth diapers all about. The liners, inserts, fleece, bamboo, A1O, A12, pocket diapers, pre-fold and up to how to clean the diapers. Jargon term for me, memang hegeh nak paham. But after all, I learn lots of new things. From zero knowledge, I build the level till I really know the detailing part. The question is, am I committed-type-of-person?

Hee. Lots of things to learn. Still bertatih. But I must say, when we want the best for our baby, we need to do extra research, belajar dan bertanya kalau taktau. Macam mula-mula I macam pelik, tak pernah nampak sterilizer pun kat rumah SIL, rupanya aktiviti merebus botol susu sama fungsi dengan sterilizer. Haha. Zaman udah moden. LOL.

Okay, need to go back on track. Masih perlu sambung study on parenting. Ekeke. Btw, would love to thanks lots of lemon to mummy bloggers who shared their journey and it helps me a lot. Keep on sharing mommy.  :)

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Looking Hot

Salam :)

This picture was captured this morning, before I off to work. Friday is the casual day = lazy day. I usually wore the company's tshirt with jeans but I can't fit the shirt anymore. Tula, amek size kecik memang muat-muat, badan besar sikit je memang tak bole pakai.
I still pakai my old jeans (before pregnant) sebab I memang xde seluar yang comfy untuk dipakai. I don't even have maternity jeans/pants. Well, I got a maternity pants, but the quality sangat hampeh and I ended up tak pakai dah. I can't button my jeans, hence I attached with the belly belt that I brought from Mothercare (influence by hidayah hiddensity). Hehe.

Carrying a baby girl, people said we tend to dress up and doll up. I love looking my face in pink complexion. Thanks to ChaCha Tint from Benefit. Only God knows how much I love this magical product. I'm a simple type of person, my routine would be cleansing -> toner -> moisturizer with SPF -> ChaCha Tint (for cheeks and lips) -> Lip Gloss with Vit E -> Compact Powder (i love the Dior compact powder to bits,it make ur face flawless and doesnt look like u've been applying powder pun). I consider myself simple sebab I tak curling my eyelashes, bereyeliner, mascara, eye shadow bagai. Before pregnant I jarang bersiap, jarang color up my face, sebab tu muka nampak tak siap, pucat aje. Muka tak presentable lansung. Haha. Bila pregnant ne, rasa rajin nye nak berhias. Nak makesure my face turn to pink complexion.

I bumped into a friend from different department last few days in the lift. We didn't really catching up about ourselves, just talk about work. Later, she called me and asked what supplement I took, what skin care I used since my skin complexion is very nice. Kulit cantek orang cakap. I get it a lot nowadays (Masa time pregnant ne aje la). Haha. Duhh, perasan. At first I thought because of the SKII, but then I teringat hubs pernah cakap last week, 'sejak pregnant ne muka I berseri-seri'. So, it can be concluded that it is because of the pregnancy hormone. Face looks radiant, glowing effortlessly. Alhamdulillah. Nak pregnant selalu lah macam ne. Hee. Butt, rambut I masih gugur dengan banyak as always. Bukan ke kalau pregnant, rambut jadi sihat dan tak gugur? Musykil I. Ke sebab I lack of iron in my diet eh?

On the other note, I found out the dressing up time is getting longer. I hardly find a comfy tops/pants/kurungs. Semua sendat. I will try a few, mix-and-match sampai puas hati dan sampai rasa selesa. Bosan sebab lepas try beriya, jenuh la nak lipat/hang balik. Penat dan buang masa. Baju kurung modern and kebaya memang boleh asing letak tepi la. For few baju kurungs, the kain still bole zip dan button. But most of it memang tak bole zip oii. Kan I bought the belly belt thingy, but still I rasa tak selesa. Ke I tak reti pakai benda alah tu?

Since sekarang I berada di stage dimana rasa nak berlawa looking hot aja, memang rasa emo bila baju sedia ada tak dapat membantu. Tak sabar aih nak gaji this monday, nak beli maternity pants/skirts oiii. Nak shopping!!! Kalau tops, I got no problem with sebab tops besar and still boleh cover perut. Pants/skirts memang kena cari yang comfy. Sekarang ne perut dah menegang 24jam. Usap kuat sikit pun dah sakit. Tak selesa tak selesa. Boobs pun takyah nak cakap la, pakai cardigan tak bole button, kang lagi tesembol nampak obvious. Pakai tudung memang kena pin kiri kanan untuk selamat.

Then, from yesterday I rasa perut I makin membesar. Semalam baby bump okay lagik, pagi ne bangun I tekejut tengok cermin, haila cepatnya besar. Yang I rasa cam lawak, masa nak balik ofis petang tadi, one of the bosses tego I, dia tanya nape perut I tiba-tiba nampak obvious. Pagi tadi okay je. I memang rasa sepanjang kat ofis tadi perut I mengembang dengan jayanya. Sebab bila I menom air banyak pun, perut ne macam dah stretch tahap maksimum. Singlet yang I pakai since morning muat je dapat cover whole tummy, tapi bila petang, I pelik bila singlet I macam hanging, tak bole cover whole tummy lagi dah. Haha. Dasyat tak? My baby sayang kat dalam perut tengah growing up tu. Hee.

Dear baby, thanks for letting Ummi feel beautiful and confident about myself. Be good in 'there' kay! Love u.. Xoxo :)

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Snorkelling @ Perhentian Island

Salam :)

I missed the time when we both snorkelling together for the first time.

Nice beach, nice sea, crystal clear water, lots of fish, big turtle and beautiful corals.I was 4-months pregnant and quite semput bila nak snorkel lama-lama. I kept on telling hubs, after the baby besar sikit we should start snorkelling again. Huh, masa awal-awal xmo beriya bersnorkelling bagai kan?

It was my first time snorkelling, first time kat tengah-tengah laut, so awal-awal tu I asyik pegang tangan hubs ja sambil tengok ikan cantek. Bila dah lama confident sikit belagak cakap kat hubs takyah pegang tangan dah sebab susah nak berenang. Tambah lagi pakai life jacket memang lagi banyak tenaga nak guna masa berenang. Hehe.

No wonder ramai orang gila amek diving license bagai kan? Hee. Syok rupanya. :)

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CheckUp at 21-weeks

Salam :)

I did my monthly check up today. As usual, with Dr. Daud at Pusrawi. While waiting for urine result, I saw Dr. Daud left the consultation room and went upstairs. Later than I knew that he has to ceaser one of his patient due to the condition of the baby, yang hampir lemas sebab bukaan the mother masih tak berganjak. I was asked to change to the other doc, but I insist to come back after Jumaat prayer, sebab I hanya nak check up with Dr. Daud. If you ols pernah consult with Dr. Daud, you will not want to meet other doctor. Seriously.

To kill the time, we went to KLCC (ke mana lagi kan, sebab tu yang paling dekat dan dah biasa). Having our early lunch at Signature Foodcourt. Then, to mothercare. Macam biasa, kalau pergi sana memang taktau nak tengok apa, nak tengok baju belum tau gender (belom scan kan time tu), last-last tengok carseat. Tengok ajelah, dah berapa kali tengok pun taktau, tapi idaknya beli lagik. :p

Lepas pusing-pusing, masuk pulak ToysRUs. Saja browsing, tengok-tengok kot ada toys/games yang sesuai for my beloved nephew, Akmal Adli @ Mamal. Whatever is, dia tetap no.1, tetap di hati. Last night, abang called and said Mamal sibuk nak cakap dengan MakSu. So sweet of him. Rindu Mamal.

Lately, I asyik bising takde baju yang selesa pakai and been taking longer time than usual setiap kali nak dress up. So, hubs ajak cari new clothes. Yeayy. I've been eyeing this one top at MNG, but hubs doesn't approved. Duhhh :(

Hubs suggested to browse at GAP and I was planned to buy one top only, hubs then insisted me to take another top yang cantik on his eyes but not me. Since he's going to pay, I redha aje. I fall in love with this one cardigan that cost RM239, so I told the SA maybe next time. Mahal owhhh :(

After Friday prayer, we went to Pertama Complex to buy new badminton shoes and raket for hubs. Nak tournament next week, semua benda nak baru kan? Like a kid :)
Nak tunggu pasang tali raket bagai, I ajak hubs perkena bihun sup sebab perut I dah berkeroncong. Lapar lagiii.

Pukul 3 dah sampai kat Pusrawi dan tunggu turn jumpa doc. Berat naek 3kg, bravo Baizura, bravo. Haha. Macam biasa kena bebel dengan Dr. Daud, kenapa lah naek banyak sangat tapi yang I tak paham berat I skang sama dengan berat sebelum mengandung. Kenapa Dr. Daud nak bising kan? Hee.layankan aje. Then, the best part masa scan the baby. Cute little baby, nyenyak tido. Jantung bedegup laju aje. Tangan dok genggam. We both excited nak tengok gender, keep on telling the baby setiap kali usap perut, jangan malu-malu. Dan tadi, nah tekangkang je baby sambil tido. Memang clear nampak. Comel. Berat, tinggi dan size kepala baby memang sejajar dengan usia kandungan. Alhamdulillah. Dr. Daud ne suka scan lama-lama. Siap tadi dia kena reply urgent message so he let us saw the scan lama-lama. Even baby tengah tido, dapat la tengok baby kadang-kadang tersentak time tido.

Air ketuban I as always banyak. Doc cakap kalau air ketuban banyak, petanda yang I suka menom/makan benda manis dan berkanji. Ada potensi baby besar. So, I kena jaga makan/menom la. Kena banyak menom plain water. Aduhhh, time pregnant ne suka pulak I dengan benda manis. Hee.

Disebabkan dah 5months dan dah rasa baby movement, so doc cakap memang sesuai sangat la I terus amek injection ATT/Kancing Gigi. Tekejut mak noks. Tapi tadah je tangan. Sakit jugak, dan lama jugak suntikan ne. The reason is, as a prevention in the future. Mana la tau nanti terbesalin dalam kete ke or mana-mana, injection ne macam buat sistem imunisasi kita tahan la dari infection luka time bersalin nanti. Doc cakap kalau I opt taknak inject pun takpe, but we can't predict the future right? Kesan injection adalah sampai sekarang rasa kebas. Akak staff nurse tu cakap, certain people kebas 2-3jam je, certain people ada yang berhari-hari dan ada yang sampai demam. Harapnya I rasa kebas aje la.

This time around doc cakap takyah amek darah lagik. Tunggu next month. I kan ada masalah kekurangan hemoglobin. Doc suruh I makan banyak-banyak, sebab dia cakap tengok tangan pun dah tau pucat dan kalau test darah pun confirm naek 1.0 ja. Last month nye reading, 10.8 ja. It's supposed to be 12.5 and above. Risau pulak I. The side impact of having lower hemoglobin are the potential of ceaser and affect milk production. So, I have to ensure I eat a lot of iron-based food (e.g. Spinach,liver,kerang,red meat).

Dr. Daud is the best doc ever. Semua benda dia cite, even dia cakap laju macam I, kadang-kadang susah gak nak tangkap. Tapi very informative especially for first time mother like me yang kadang-kadang taktau nak tanya apa.

Hmm..can't wait for the next check up. Nak tengok baby lagiii. And sebab dah tau gender (99% is correct), I can start shopping the baby stuff. Yeayyy..

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4Moms Origami Stroller

Salam :)

Whoaaahh. I just found out about this stroller. I duduk dalam gua ke selama ne? Haha.

Gila cool. Tapi harga pun cool juling biji mata. Retail price around 5K. Kalau online bole dapat 4.2K macam tu la. Haish. Kumpul duet sikit dah boleh buat downpayment beli kete. Mahal lagik dari scooter ktorang yang baru beli. Haha.

Smart kan? Ish ish ish. In my dreams aje lahhh :p

P.s- Kawan-kawan yang baek hati silalah start buat collection untuk bagi I hadiah stroller ne. Hehe.

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Big English Breakfast

Salam girls :)

I made 2 sets of English Breakfast today. The first set is for my beloved hubs who woke up earlier than me. Haha. Terkejut bangun tengok he's not there, terus cari satu rumah. Rupanya at the gym room, tengah workout. Yes, he is so obsessed with the workout thingy. Very proud of his long sexy back. Awww. I iyekan je la. Sometime I think he's not growing up yet. Haha.

He then said to me,he defrost the sausages already and wanted an English breakfast. So, for him ommelete sausages and grilled sausages. He ate it with choc raisin bread.

The second set consist of scramble egg, grilled sausages and homemade garlic bread. It's quite a big portion, sebab I have all the 3 SIL as a guest. And of course, they didn't wake up as early as us. Haha. The idea of preparing the garlic bread I got from maghfarah's blog (she is a super awesome mother). And I glad the SIL love it.

I wanted to complete the breakfast with grapefruit juice but then my SIL said to me, 'xkan pagi-pagi dah menom juices?'. Haha. Memang tak western tau u olss. So, I asked them to prepare hot tea instead. Sebab takde juices (over la kan kalau semua menom hot tea, I nak mengada menom grapefruit juices jugak), I potong oranges to complete my breakfast. Haha. I am glad I made a healthy breakfast for them. Even banyak telor tapi I used the pasteurized eggs tau. 10 biji RM8.89. Gila mahal tapi terpaksa sebab hubs suka makan telor. Kolestrol sangatt tinggi. No good. No good.

Today, we are going nowhere. I am responsible to monitor one of my SIL to study. Dia PMR this coming wednesday owhhh. So,stay at home.and coaching her. Haha. Bole la I settle kan part melipat baju yang makin menggunung and iron office attires. I tak sukaaa iron baju dan lipat baju. I taktau nak sub this two-job-that-I-hate-so-much kat sape. Kadang-kadang send to dobi jugak for ironing purposes, tapi kalau selalu papa kedana la jugak. Sobss.

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My Baby's Kicking

Salam :)

Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah.

For the first time, I can feel it. Ya Allah, I can't explain the feeling. I was at Kinokuniya at that time, talking to one of the staff, need his help to find Andrew Matthews's book. I can't remember what is the tittle, so berlama jugak la I explain what the book is all about. Suddenly, I feel a very strong kick at the left of my tummy. Mula-mula pelik, like apakah? Tekejut sebab baby tendang kuat sangat. Lepas tu terus cari hubs and told him about that. Tapi sayang, baby tendang sekali ja. Hubs have to wait until next time. I asyik dok ulang cakap pasal the first kick and I think I did annoyed my hubs. Haha.

My SIL and my bestfriends are pregnant and about the same week with me. They felt the kicking at 4months (they are carrying the second baby) and it worried me as I can't feel any kicking. I have no idea how it feels, so I selalu tanya orang macam mane eh rasa kalau baby tendang? Paranoid gila kan? I rasa I memang annoying la. Ekekeke.

Banyak kali la I dapat false hope, sikit-sikit rasa cam baby tendang. Pastu tak sure, eh betul ke baby tendang? Ke gas je tu? Serious rasa tak confident.

Tapi bila dah rasa tadi, memang sangat yakin, confident. Comel anak Ummi (Yes, I want my baby to call me Ummi). Hee. The moment is priceless.

Ummi can feel u baby. :)

P.s- Eventhough penat gila today, from mini gathering -> friend's house warming -> wisma yakin (PIL's shop) -> pasar malam jalan TAR -> KLCC, I still want to jot down the moment. I don't want to forget the moment. A quick update for the sake of not forgetting. Night, girls.

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The Boss Thingy

Salam :)

I was having breakfast yesterday when suddenly my boss came to me and passed this 1 sheet of paper. I looked at my watch, not even 8.45 yet, takkan dah nak pass suh I buat kerja kot. Haha. Buruk sangka aje :p

So thoughtful of him to find the surah and print it out for me. It is surah an-Nuh verses 10-12.  Ustaz at his place told him a pregnant lady and woman who's trying to conceive elok amalkan ayat ne. Inshaallah, dapat anak-anak yang baik dan dipermudahkan segala perjalanan untuk pregnant and baby masih dalam kandungan.It's advisable to recite this ayat together with husband especially after performing solat. Not the wife only, the husband also have their role.

My boss is a pious type of man. Bab bagi advices, share hikmah for every things that happened and anything related to inner self/spiritual, memang obviously he is the man. Selalu bagi all of us menom air yassin, air khatam quran 30 juzuk dan sebagainya. And dia sangat rajin puasa. Sangatt. Dan sangat tak kedekut. Kalau main-main cakap dah lama tak makan murtabak ayam, memang dia cari. Nak pesan/kirim ape-ape kat dia memang senang. Tak banyak songeh. Dia willing ja.

I have this like-hate relationship with him. Haha. Kalau bab bukan kerja memang dia baek la. Bab kerja memang tak best la. Sukaa pas keja banyak-banyak kat I. I cuti ke, MC ke selalu kol tanya pasal kerja. File dekat mana, guidelines ne nak cari kat mana, gerrramm. Kalau MC I boleh lagi la larat nak layan. Kalau on vacation memang I tak suka. And he's so skema. Masa I morning sickness teruk, I selalu mc. Then, ada sekali tu I MC straight 4days sebab I jatuh kat rumah and doc asked me to rest at home. I texted him, then he replied, "please avoid too many MC", instead of saying nice thing like 'take care'.

And...in my team dah lama ada 1 vacant position. Dari awal tahun sampai la dah bulan 10 dia boleh xde urgency nak amek new staff. Masa awal tahun, selalu la I remind dia pasal new staff, lama-lama dia macam tak endah I dah tak bother nak raise the issue again. Masalahnya,  I can't cope. I selalu bawak balik kerja kat rumah then the other colleagues said it might give wrong perception to him as it showed I can cope with the workload. Bila I pregnant, I dah tak peduli I malas nak bawak balik kerja dah. He's among the first yang tau I pregnant, sebab I nak dia cepat-cepat cari staff. Tapi macam tu jugak. Bila I kerap MC baru dia beriya nak cari new staff.

Hmmmm...one part he's okay..the other part pulak selalu buat I tak puas hati tau. Haha. From time to time, I rasa dia makin okay dan makin memahami sikit. He's newly join ja, awal tahun hari tu and tak pernah ada staff. That's why kot dia macam baru try nak adjust. I try to bersangka baek since memang most of the time dia okay. Haha.

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Midlife Crisis

Salam :)

Overr tau tajuk. Midlife la sangatt. Have you ever been questioning yourself like, what am I doing here in the office? Is it something you are passionate about?

I don't know about myself. Seriously. That's why I called it as crisis. Dolu-dolu, I am so in love with what I'm doing. I tak kesah work till late night (almost everyday) and have to come to the office on weekend. But now, pagi-pagi sampai ofis dah rasa sampai bila I nak macam ne?

I love the working environment. The bosses, colleagues and everything in the office seems to be the things that still motivate me to the office every day. I just don't know what I really want.

Yang pasti I love to study again. Ya allah, rasa tu memuncak. Thinking of belajar part time, lots of things to sacrifice pulak. You get what I mean? I'm talking about time. Belajar full time? I sayang nak let go the perks and paycheck every month. You know, when at the end of financial year, I 'll get 3-4months bonus. The salary selalu revised, recent increment 15%, sape nak bagi. Belum lagi outpatient and hospitalized benefits. Yeah, living in KL, those things memang membantu. Tambah lagi sekarang, dengan anak yang akan pop out dah tentu-tentu dapat benefit unlimited.

I was once rasa being lecturer is something yang I looking forward. Tapi boleh ke maen rasa-rasa je. I cannot turn back once I decide. The pros, of course time yang flexible and I enjoy teaching (I guess I am). Nanti ada baby lagi la rasa malas nak pergi kerja pagi-pagi. Kalau jadi lecturer, boleh adjust time kan?
The cons would always be the salary tak sama dengan kerja sekarang. The benefits pun tak sama. Susahh!

I told my MIL about further study thingy. She then called her friend who is the Rector at one of the university in KL and her friend boleh nak tolong adjust the scholarship bagai. Tiba-tiba I jadi cuak, I terus cakap, I'll see how after confinement nanti. Haha. Tak boleh nak tetap pendirian kan I ne? My mom said, having a baby can't be an excuse. Hah, amek kau. I just don't know. I sayang benar nak let go bonus I. Sebab bonus march tahun depan pun I dah plan nak beli stroller, pergi vacation, buy the dream handbag and etc. Sayang oiii. Ne la orang cakap, 'baru dengar guruh berdentum di langit, air di tempayan dicurahkan'. Haha.

Orang cakap we can't have everything in life. Some things we have to let go. Tapi bole tak nak tamak, nak jugak kaut semua? Hee. Tapi macam mana ye?

Lepas dah deep thoughts fikir bagai and still tak dapat solution, I akan ignore the thoughts and let the wind swept it away. Then, bila tension kat ofis asyik terpaksa balik lambat, bila meeting explain orang asyik nak condemn, mula la terperangkap dalam midlife crisis balik.

Sampai bila nak macam ne? I taktau ape yang I nak actually. :l

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5 Month

Salam :)

Oh yeah, I dah 20weeks today. Alhamdulillah :) 4 months to go.

I am on MC today. Demam + flu + batuk + headache. At the office, ramai yang tak sihat, I berjangkit dengan dorang la kot. I dah jaga diri I sehabes baek, sebab I tau orang pregnant senang berjangkit, makan buah oren (vitamin C good for imunisasi). Masa sakit kaki+sakit betis sabtu lepas pun dah rasa sengal-sengal macam nak demam. Tapi kuasa Allah, kun fa ya kun.

Demam ne penyuci dosa. Inshaallah, demam yang sehari kalau dilalui dengan sabar besar ganjaran. I've read yang demam panas ne serpihan dari neraka, inshaallah dengan minum air kosong yang banyak dapat menyejukkan badan yang panas. It's something like that la,if I'm not mistaken.

I jumpa doctor kat klinik biasa pagi tadi just because nak MC. Sebab kalau pergi ofis yang aircond sejuk tahap gaban memang seksa. The doctor didn't bother to check the temperature pun (tu yang I malas nak gi cek kat klinik biasa). So, bila dia kasik ubat and I asked him is it safe? Dia cakap, yes of course. Honestly I tak confident pun. So, I tak makan pun ubat dia bagi. I had breakfast, drink lots of plain water, had a good sleep dan letak tuala basah kat dahi. Kadang-kadang lap satu badan dengan kain basah. Hopefully, demam kebah that way. Bukan kalau pregnant, the doctor supposed to check the temperature ke? Kalau more than 38.9 celcius, it's alarming kot. Or atleast check the urine, mana tau demam sebab kencing kotor ke kan? I bukan nak pandai-pandai dari doc, kalau doc buat comprehensive check up and cakap I okay sila makan ubat macam biasa, I bole terima. Ne check pun idaknya, macam mana I yang bajet serba pandai dari doc ne tak question kan? Hmmm, esok kalau demam masih tak kebah I should go to another clinic and terus mintak doc check betul-betul. Gitew... Tapi harapnya esok dah okaylah, tak kuasa mak nak MC lama-lama. Kerja kat ofis tu kalau ada orang back up takpela jugak. Hmmm :(

I bukan paranoid nak amek ubat while pregnant. Tapi sebab I don't know what safe and what not, so I play safe to didn't take it at all. I googled, read from a reputable doctor's website and he said paracetamol okay for pregnant woman but try to heal with the natural way first instead of taking medicine.

Lunch tadi tak lalu nak makan walaupun nasi panas menjadi sajian. Sekarang dah lapar, tunggu husband balik keje nak pergi makan pizza hut. I don't know why, tapi kalau tak sihat je I mesti nak makan chicken soup with garlic bread and mushroom pizza and spaghetti bolognese. Haha, amek kau demam tapi nafsu macam orang terlebih sihat. Haha. I usually makan sikit-sikit ja. Nak basah tekak orang cakap. Sian la wahai encik suami.

I was about to call hubs and asked him to get back home asap. In a second, dia dah call I dulu. See, we can read each other. Haha. Overrr. He said he will come back asap and I mengada-ngada tanya hari ne boleh balik awal ke? He said the sweet thing like mestila knowing that his wife mesti lapar sebab didn't have lunch. So sweet of him to say that. Bila letak fon je, I baru teringat yang tonight dia ada latihan badminton at 8.30pm for end of the month tournament. Cis, rupanya balik awal sebab nak gi maen badminton. Tapi I nak sedapkan hati I jugak yang he's looking forward nak bawa I pergi makan sebab dia cakap dia sampai je terus keluar dinner, dia taknak mandi dulu sebab risau I tengah lapar. Whatever! Hee :)

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