Syukur alhamdulillah. For all the nikmat that Allah showered. I couldn't be more than happy. Allah will always give everything we needed, not anything we wanted.
I am a Muslim since I was born. I can't remember exactly when I started with the hijab. Probably since I standard 2. Starting with pakai tudung pergi kelas agama. Dan lama-lama jadi biasa. I remembered, during secondary school I dah start ada rasa malu kalau boys at school jumpa I kat luar without the hijab. So, ever since that I pakai tudung setiap kali keluar rumah.
When Im growing up, I masih bertudung tapi tudung berfesyen. Boleh lipat-lipat buat bunga. Kalau tak selempang tu rasa tak cantek. Pakai tudung sebab cover rambut. Bukan aurat yang laen. Tak kisah pun kalau nampak breast sebab rasa kalau tudung labuh mak aiii, sangat ustazah. I have once wearing tudung litup at the office and my colleagues kept on teasing me like, 'nak jadi ustazah ke?'. See, cabaran sungguh.
Then, I started covering my chest. It was hard at first, yela mana cantek pakai selendang lilit-lilit, tapi kena pakai labuh. Kan? Susah, dah x boleh nak lipat-lipat buat bunga. After married, i had decided to really covering the chest. Dulu mungkin before kawen, rasa nak bercantek konon nak attract orang. Astaghfirullahalazim. Lepas kawen, bertudung labuh sikit (msh banyak yang perlu diperbaiki), rasa selamat. Selamat dari pandangan nafsu lelaki bukan muhrim. Selamat takde orang kacau dan rasanya berjaya buat orang rasa tak bernafsu nak pandang. Alhamdulillah.
Yet, I am still struggling to cover the aurat properly. Not just about wearing hijab, how about my clothes? Sungguh, I have to take a little step at a time. I don't want to rush for being perfectly covered, Im afraid it might take me nowhere. I have to equip myself with the ilmu, knowing why I need to do this and that. Not just follow without argument. Without knowing what's the purposes.
Inshaallah, I really hope that I am istiqomah in finding the redha of Allah. After all, Im just the Caliph of Allah, and the only reason I was born to this world is to worship my Lord. The one and only.
May Allah blessed us.