Back to the Office

Salam :)

Today is my first day at the office after 3-months maternity leave.

Today is my first time apart from my baby girl. 

Like all mother out there, how I wish I can be 24-hours with my baby girl. Ya Allah, since Maghrib semalam I dah start drama air mata. Sedih kot. Usually Maryam bukak mata je ngadap muka Ummi dia, and today I am not there.

And, to make things even worst, I left my handphone at home. Damn. Hubs got 2 phone, and I borrowed one. Not because I want to get access to instagram or what, it just that I need to look at my baby girl picture while I am away from her. I did bring her last nigh wash cloths. Ada bau Maryam.

I didn't function at the office today. Still in the midst of sorting out email. I didn't bother to read all email one by one, I straight away forwarded it to archive. Not in the mood.

After this, I am going to hibernate and pumping milk at the musolla until lunch time.

I am not going to express my feelings much here, or else I cry like a Niagara fall.

I miss my baby girl damn much :(

MaryamNurZahra' : Flight Experience

Salam :)

Ne lebih kepada Ummi Maryam bawak Maryam first time naek flight. 

#11 May 2013

# Age: 2 months 3 weeks

First time, sorang-sorang pulak. Even flight 45minit je pun tapi tetap nervous. I decided naek MAS sebab lagik baby-friendly dan I pilih seat depan sekali. Hubs suruh amek business class, tapi memikirkan sayang duet (baek beli Sofina bag. Haha) dan 45minit je pun, laen kali jelah.

I nak amek flight pagi actually, sebab Maryam senang tido time pagi tapi MAS xde flight pagi. Redah je flight malam. Maryam was okay masa tunggu nak boarding. Boleh maen-maen dengan MakTok & TokAbah lagik. 

Masa nak masuk ke balai berlepas, I nak wearing Maryam dalam Boba, so that I ada cukup tangan nak tunjuk boarding pass bagai. Tapi si kecik tu meragam pulak taknak duduk dalam Boba. So, I just gantung Boba kat pinggang sebab I taknak pegang banyak barang.

Masa menunggu kat balai berlepas, I duduk je dia menanges. Haish, I dah gelabah. Ke sana sini berjalan. Then menanges kuat gila, I terpaksa bagi susu. I ingat nak hold sampai masuk flight. I bagi dalam 1 oz, pastu dia tertido. Legaaa. Masa nak masuk flight, parents with infant boleh masuk dulu, I taknak masuk dulu sebab Maryam kang duduk dia terjaga. Plus flight awal-awal tu takde aircond lagik, panas hoii. Tapi semua orang keliling I suruh I pergi depan. Sampai la pekerja MAS yang check boarding pass menjerit suruh I pergi depan. Hadoi, femes seketika. Masa jalan ke depan, ada la 2-3 orang dok tanya, 'sorang je ke?'. Bila orang tanya camtu, I pun start gelabah dah. Haha.

Seperti diduga, duduk je dalam flight Maryam terjaga. Susah hokayh travel sorang-sorang with baby. Beg I letak kat depan I, tapi ada susu Maryam. Takkan nak letak bawah. I tak boleh letak beg atas riba. I tawakal dalam hati, kali ne je I letak susu kat bawah. Allah dengar kata hati I, akak yang duduk sebelah I tanya sama ada nak dia pegangkan beg I? Takkan nak suh dia pegang kan? So I mintak tolong kakak tu amek susu, blanket & wash cloth Maryam. Sebab I nak tunduk amek bag pun susah. Kakak yang baek hati tu tolong pegang susu Maryam. 

Stewardess pun baek hati datang bagi bantal. Selesa sikit Maryam. Masa stewardess datang explain pasal laluan kecemasan, macam mana nak pakai corong udara dekat Maryam sume I dah blur. Dah penat sangat dah I. 

Time stewardess demo pasal jaket keselamatan bagai, Maryam boleh pusing nak tengok. Sibuk betul. Muka dia memang teruja habes. Stewardess pun asyik senyum tengok dia. 

Masa nak take off, I baringkan Maryam. I nak bagi susu, nak elakkan dia sakit telinga/terkejut. Tp si kecik ne taknak susu. Budak ne jakun sangat naek flight. Mulut dia dok 'ooooo' ja. Orang keliling I dok gelak tengok Maryam. Yang I ne nervous takut dia nanges. 

Masa flight dah stabil kat ats Maryam dok ajak I borak. Layan-layan dia, pastu bagi susu lagik. I taknak bagi susu habes sebab I nak simpan masa touch down. Ne yang susah kalau tak breastfeed baby, kalau bf boleh selak je kan?? :(

Maryam memang tak tido lansung dalam flight. Excited kot. I kena agah-agah dia nak elak dia bosan kan? I nak menom juice dan makan kacang pun susah. Kakak sebelah yang tolong pegang cup, masukkan kacang dalam beg. I dahaga sangat, so I need to drink jugak. Maryam memang tak duduk diam. Lenguh tangan I.

Bila nak touch down, telinga I dah sakit. So, I cepat-cepat bagi Maryam menom susu. Elok je dah touch down, Maryam boleh tido. Geram je I. Bila dia tido, sangat senang nak masukkan dia dalam Boba. 

Dari keluar flight, amek luggage, dalam kete dia tido je. Sampai je rumah mata celik segar bugar. Haihla budak kecik ne. 

Untung awak Maryam, kecik-kecik dah naek flight. Ummi umur 19tahun baru dapat naek flight tau.

MaryamNurZahra' : Bergolek & Meniarap

Salam :) 

# 16 May 2013

Semalam Maryam dah boleh golek-golek badan dan pusing meniarap sendiri. Ya Allah rasa nak menanges boleh witness sendiri. Sebelum ne dia setakat golek kiri kanan ja. Semalam dah mampu meniarap. 

(1) I biar atas tilam camne sementara I lipat kaen kat sebelah.

(2) Sekali tengok dah pusing macam ne. Dah la terkeluar dari tilam. Dasyat ini budak. Maryam kena ayu-ayu tau. 

(3) I angkat dia duduk atas tilam elok-elok, pastu terus terlena. Hahaaha. 

Comel ja. Bila Ayah balik keje malam, I suruh Maryam tunjuk kat Ayah, dalam setengah jam jugak la dia usaha nak bergolek dan meniarap. Kecoh Ayah satu rumah dapat tengok. Good girl Maryam.

Ayah & Ummi love you so much :)

Impulse Buying

Salam :)

'Impulse buying disrupts the normal decision making models in consumers' brains. The logical sequence of the consumers' actions is replaced with an irrational moment of self gratification. Impulse items appeal to the emotional side of consumers.' - wikipedia

It is happening to me lately. 😩

I went to collect my parcel this morning at Batu Caves Pos Laju. (I pun taktau asal sampai ke Batu Caves I kena collect?). In my mind, it must be something that I bought from Groupon. Gigih hokayh maen aci redah cari Pos Laju kat sana. Sebab bawak Maryam kot Allah permudahkan senang je jumpa. 

Bila dapat barang, i was shocked, what the heck is this? Besarnya parcel. Can you imagine, sebelah tangan dukung Maryam, sebelah lagik galas beg. Nak pegang parcel yang gedabak lagik. Nak bukak pintu lagi. 

Masa letak parcel I nampak from FashionValet. Haaa??? Bila masa aku shopping kt FV ne?? I mean, I did stalk the website. Berkira-kira nak beli baju kurung for Maryam & Soffina bag. Yes I did put it into the cart. But I will check out everytime sampai bahagian payment. Ada la 3-4 kali I buat macam tu. Seriously, I tak ingat lansung yang I proceed to payment. 

Now..Maryam got her first baju kurung & I got my blue Sofina handbag. I must say I love both to bits.

And I am still tak puas hati, who proceed to the payment. Hubs said it's okay, just admit and he don't mind at all. How am I going to admit if myself cannot remember a thing. This online shopping habit going insane. 

I need to control this habit. Bukan sahaja mudaratkan poket tapi jugak menggugat jiwa. Sumpah hoii I tak ingat. Nanti nak kena cek I bayar guna m2u ke or credit card??

Dapur Berasap : Udang Masak Lemak Cili Api

Salam :)

Alkisahnya dapur I jarang sangat berasap sejak dari mengandung dulu. Haha. 

Semalam hari rajin I, bangun pagi buat nasi goreng cina untuk breakfast sebelum hubs pergi kerja. I termasak banyak, so lunch pun nasi goreng jugak. Haha. 

Petang macam tu, Maryam tido sekejap I pun terasa nak masak untuk dinner. Hubs balik nanti boleh terus makan. Teringat nak pakai resipi Aunty Nani Rostam, mak si Hanis Zalikha. Resipi Aunty nampak mudah, sesuai la untuk si pemalas macam I. 

Serious senang sangat dan rasanya sangat sedap. I yang tak pandai masak pun kagum dengan pencapaian I. Haha. Kebetulan MIL & FIL datang rumah semalam, FIL I siap tanya beli mana masak lemak ne? Hak hak hak. Hidung hubs kembang kempis bangga cakap isteri dia masak. 

Sebelum tido hubs cakap pagi esok nak breakfast masak lemak tu makan dengan nasi. Sedap lettew. So, pagi tadi I bangun just tambah udang dalam kuah masak lemak tu sebab kuah still banyak.

Nah, ne resipi Aunty Nani. Memang effortlessly sedap, tak sampai 15minit dah siap. 

I ikot sebijik resipi ne, kecuali I tak pakai bawang merah sebab bawang merah dah habes, so I gantikan dengan sebiji bawang besar. Santan kotak I masukkan 200ml ja, sebab tak jumpa santan kotak yang 250ml. Tapi tu pun dah cukup lemak bagi I. Dan I tak masukkan nenas. Sebab, I & hubs tak makan nenas dan I pun taktau macam mana nak kupas & potong nenas. Hahahah. 

Mak I selalu pesan, kalau masak ikot resipi orang jangan menderhaka kat resipi banyak sangat, nanti tak jadi. So semalam I memang follow sebijik-sebijik. Masa nak masukkan 2 cawan air I dah confused, Aunty Nani pakai cawan ape eh? I takut I terlebih/terkurang air. I bukan jenis orang yang reti agak-agak. Orang selalu masuk dapur ja pandai agak-agak ne. I belom cukup ilmu. Hee. 

Please don't judge on the look, the picture doesn't do justice. Haha. Tak nampak udang & tomato sangat sebab kuah I banyak. Terlebih air lettew. 

When in Bali

Salam :)

We went to Bali somewhere in November last year. Can't recall the exact date. Haha. I was 6-months pregnant at that time.

Bali is awesome. You can't shopping much there, but you will enjoy the sight-seeing and beautiful beach.

I am glad we went there while my baby girl still in my womb. Susah nak travel while having baby because the preferred transport is scooter. Syok round naek scooter, especially the night life, memang best tengok gelagat matsalleh drunk at the bar along the road.

Hubs enjoyed surfing and he spend most of the time at the beach. While I followed the girls pergi Uluwatu, Legian Beach etc. Oh we went there in a big group, about 20 people. Trip with my family-in-laws. Kat Uluwatu nak pergi tengok Kecak Dance tu kena mendaki sikit, I yang tengah 6-months pregnant memang kaki membengkak bagai gajah la. Sakit kaki gilaaa. The sunset view worth the pain. I found the Kecak Dance quite scary and weird. Dah lah time Maghrib, memang tak henti-henti I berdoa. Takutt hoii.

The Kuta Beach sangat-sangat happening. Dengan ombak besarnya, ramai matsalleh, nice view gila. Sebagai orang pregnant, I tak berani nak join adik ipar and cousins mandi laut and maen ombak. Jadi pemerhati bebas ja. 

My hubs and I bawak sejuta rupiah je sebab trip di sponsor oleh MIL. Haha, but we cant resist the crocs there. Sungguh design crocs kat sana sangat rare, ada a few yang takde kat sini. Harga sama sahaja tapi beli sebab design chantek. Hubs did shopping a lot. Kasut la, sandal, jeans, baju, macam-macam la. I beli sepasang crocs dan fridge magnet kat peti ais sendiri ja. Being pregnant (read:extra penat), you wont remember to buy souvenir to family and friends. Sungguh. Sorry sangat-sangat. 

Food? Susah nak cari makanan halal. Ada 1 kedai makanan nasi padang nearby hotel. So hari-hari ulang alik kedai tuh ja. Sebaek sedap. At night time, kalau lapar I pergi makan pizza hut. Even ada sign halal, tapi banyak kali jugak tanya waiter kat situ. Lepas dia convinced yang dia pun muslim baru yakin. Did tried the pizza yang takde kat Malaysia, the taste was not bad. Tapi tak ingat flavor ape. Pelupaaa.

All in all, I must say Bali is a must visit place. Will go there again bila Maryam dah besar sikit. Tapi mungkin cover area Legian ke yang private sikit. Kuta quite busy la.

Deactivated

Salam :)

I have decided to deactivate my Facebook account for a while. The reason being is, I just cant stand the rantings on pasca-general election. Annoying.

According to a friend, she can stand the lovey-dovey messages of girlfriends-boyfriends on her news feed but not the GE rantings. So did I. As much as I annoyed couples who live under one roof but replying each other messages on FB (they want the world to know how sweet they are perhaps *hands on the chest, rolling eyes up*), these GE rantings are more annoying. Period.


I do not want to judge people, especially close people in my heart. True colours appeared. Too much hatred, too much negative vibes. I felt like I don't get enough oxygen reading those keyboard warriors rantings. Don't let me start with the languages used. Fainted :(

Politikus

Salam :)

This is going to be my first and last post regarding 13th general election.

This is my first time to cast my vote. The last time, I was studying in Sarawak. Excited?? Of course.

Hubs was kind enough to send me back home. Even fahaman politik kami berdua berbeza. He's an extremist. Seriously, I never met someone who passionate about politic like him. Kalau I sibuk online baca blog kawan-kawan, dia sibuk baca blog politik aje. We don't talk much about politic. Sebab takut bergaduh. Kalau balik rumah family hubs, tadah telinga dengar ja propaganda politik masing-masing. Same goes to him kalau balik kampung I. I bukan hardcore politic, my parents are. I choose to observe. Because deep down I sendiri taktau nak percaya pihak mana.

In my prayers, I always asked Allah to show which is right, which is wrong. Sebab I jadi takut. When I started to believed other party, then dengar/baca yang sebaliknya. I pun tak yakin dengan party yang I yakin selama ne.

Sometimes, I am so tired with these politic issues. But I just cant choose to not bother. Kerap kali I rasa kenapa politik Malaysia ne kotor? A tuduh B, B tuduh A. A cakap B samseng, B cakap A samseng. Penat. Taktau nak percaya mana.

I had tried digging one issue, tak nak percaya cakap atas angin ja. When I started to believed with what I found out, dikhabarkan pulak source I tu tak betul. Website kena hacked. Demm, it becomes hard for me. You know, this game will never end. Macam isu Lahad Datu, A cakap B dalang, B cakap A dalang. Padahal nyawa berapa orang terkorban. Can you both stop doing that and think of the public.

In my conclusion, you choose what you want to hear. What you want to read. What you want to believed. Macam orang A percaya apa dalam Buletin Utama & Utusan Malaysia. Dia taknak percaya apa ada dalam web Rakyat Marhaen, Malaysia Kini & Harakah Daily. Begitu jugak sebaliknya. Orang A claim source B menipu, orang B pun rasa source A seleweng. Sama sahaja.

Macam kat KL, makcik kawan I kena pukul dengan geng A yang tengah konvoi. Kat kampung I pulak, budak konvoi moto B pukul dan maki hamun sorang pakcik yang naek moto tampal bendera A. See, politik kotor dengan golongan macam ne. Yang majoritinya budak-budak yang tak layak mengundi lagik pun.

I am against corruption, kroni, parti anak beranak, seleweng, control media masa (it is obviously unfair) dan sombong dengan rakyat. I am against campaign yang beriya mengutuk orang. Can you just campaign highlight what you want to strive for public instead of stabbing directly to your opposition. Politik kotor namanya.

Kalau tengok kat FB lagi sakit kepala. Cukup la sorang post status berbaur politik. Punya la bederet komen pro dan anti. Bahasa takyah cakap la, memang tak mencerminkan budaya dan budi bahasa. Naseb baek Insta tak seteruk FB. Cuma I nampak sekali, Elfira Loy upload gambar dia kat event NajibMyPm kot, ada orang comment kat dia cakap 'macai hardcore'. Relaks la bro. Dia tak boleh mengundi pun. If Yes pun, can u just leave her page and move on with your life. Kalau takde nice things to say, baek you diam.

I taktau apa isu Azhar Sulaiman sampai dia pergi report polis. Got to do dengan politik jugak ke? Tapi ada orang komen cakap, 'aku doa dia mati kena sambar petir' & ' Kalau B menang, banned dia je kat TV'. Ya Allah, orang Islam doa kat Islam laen macam tu. Sedih.

Kalau tengok flyers, pasal isu hudud. A spread one side of issue ja. Macam kalau hudud di aplikasi, kena tengok wayang seperate laki perempuan dan few issue yang I rasa sangat tak adil. Cuba nak menakutkan non-muslim barangkali.

Isu keji lagi satu adalah kalau B amek alih, artis perempuan tak boleh menyanyi/belakon lagik. Kerjaya akan tamat macam tuh je.

Kenapa nak guna taktik kotor?

Ada satu post I baca, cakap B tediri dari orang educated. Orang educated pilih B. Jadi yang tinggal kat A, semua orang buta hati. Amboihhhh.

Penat weii...

I chose to vote the person itself instead of the party. If the candidate is kind enough, banyak tolong orang kampung but he's not from your favourite party, takkan you nak buta tuli vote jugak orang laen?? Unless 2-2 calon memang humble, down to earth then you have to consider you nak bagi mandat kat parti mana?

Cepatlah semua ne berakhir. Sapa pun yang menang, jalankan amanah Allah ne sebaek mungkin.

Yang kalah, terima kenyataan. Next election cuba lagik.

Please stop accusing one another. Kami rakyat biasa, nak apa yang dijanjikan. Nak hidup aman damai tanpa dendam.

Sekian.

#pendapat diri sendiri, takde kaitan yang hidup mahupun mati.

Emo

Salam :(

Hate the situation when I have to explain why I am not fully breastfeed my baby girl. Do I have to?

Just received a long email from a friend (who concerned so much of me) telling me what to consumes and whatnot. Complete with the list of lactation consultants and not to forget the negative effects of formula milk. Duhh.. Siap tanya lagik, ne dah buat ke? Betul ke dah buat? Intro email, 'I heard that you are giving fm to your baby, why don't you bf your baby? Pity little Maryam.'

Thanks babe, but no thanks. I would appreciate if you could just mind your own business.

I am working on it. What I really need is your support, not being so judgemental and thinking that I just sit down and do nothing.

I love my baby girl more than everything. I only want to give her not only the best, but the bestest I could give. I am willing to die for her. Please please please stop being so concern when I wonder where are you all this while???


#emotahapgaban :(

Majlis Aqiqah Maryam Nur Zahra'

Salam :)

Date : 3 March 2013 (Sunday)

Masa ne Maryam baru berusia 13hari dan Umminya pun masih dalam pantang. We ols aqiqah kan seekor kambing untuk Maryam.

Al-kisahnya we ols tumpang majlis tunang adik ipar I. Tapi memang majlis tunang tu ditunda-tunda supaya boleh tunggu I bersalin dulu. Naseb baek adik ipar I dan family tunang dia boleh tunggu. Haha. Maryam cucu sulung sebelah hubs I. Memang boleh nampak keterujaan tu. Masa I tengah mengandung memang la dilayan baek punya. Kalau tercakap nak makan spagheti pukul 11malam, time tu jugak MIL I kerah hubs pergi beli.

We ols tak buat majlis berendoi & cukur jambul pun. Sebab, I masih dalam pantang tak kuasa nak beriya bagai. Rambut Maryam dicukur 2 days before majlis aqiqah, iaitu pada 1 March 2013 (Jumaat). So, hari kenduri tu dimulakan dengan majlis tunang adik ipar I. Pastu acara makan-makan sampai ke petang.

Tapi guests yang datang semua tau lah PIL I baru dapat cucu. Haha. Maryam dapat banyak hadiah gilaaa. I tukang collect duet dan hadiah. Sebab semua orang sebok nak pegang Maryam. Hadiah paling best adalah Burberry dress. Adoi, tak sabar I nak tunggu Maryam besar nak pakaikan dress tu. Ummi awak pun tak pernah ada barang Burberry sayang oii.

Ayah si Maryam ne paling kalut hari tu. Excited baru jadi Ayah la katakan. Kawan I ke, kawan dia ke yang datang, memang dia cepat-cepat pergi amek Maryam nak tunjuk. Most of the time, I dalam rumah je. Dengan lampin, bip maryam dalam kocek baju melayu dia lagik. Semua orang cakap, jatuh saham hubs I, semua orang tau dia ada anak dah. Tupun dia nak beli belt yg khas untuk letak segala barang Maryam, senang nak gerak tanpa tercicil barang Maryam. Of course la I tak bagi beli, entah ape-ape la my hubs ne. Bukan boleh diikut sangat rasa excited dia tuh.

Hmm..tanggungjawab untuk aqiqah kan Maryam dah selesai. Lega. Lepas ne Ummi & Ayah nak kena selesaikan tanggungjawab sunatkan awak pulak la sayang.